Pushed Too Far
by Junebugsm
Summary: What if Callie had, in fact, pushed just a little too far? Part four (a different ending) in the PUSH series.
1. Chapter 1

**What if Callie had, in fact, pushed just a little too far?**

(A request by findinemo where Stef gets angry and leaves and Callie becomes worried that she's not coming back and not keeping her promise to always be there for her.)

* * *

**Author's Note**:

Like I said this was a request and it fit into this story so I decided to make another sequel.

I don't usually write 'author's notes' at the beginning but I wanted to set the plot. This takes place during **PUSHED TO THE END (Chapter 12) **when Mike comes back from taking the kids bowling. Things had gone fine until Mike insisted she had to eat dinner. Callie had a meltdown and tried to run but Jesus stopped her. She threw a fit and people began to stare so Mike took them all home. The other kids finished their pizza and hotdogs in the car but Callie refused.

Once the other kids all go upstairs and Mike leaves Stef goes upstairs to bring Callie down for dinner...

(The part in italics is taken from the other story just to set the plot and the parts in bold have been added in this one to follow the new story line.)

* * *

_Stef returned to the kitchen a few minutes later with a very silent, subdued Callie in tow._

_"Alright Callie dinnertime." Stef said in a tone that didn't leave Callie with much to argue about. "You have a choice of the pot roast, squash or a sandwich. You have thirty seconds to pick."_

_Lena could tell that Stef was trying to stay calm. She was already upset by their argument and right now she wasn't in any mood to fight with a teenager. She decided to help._

_"How about I make you a nice scrambled egg with cheese?" Lena suggested standing up._

_"I'm not hungry." Callie said angrily. All she wanted was to just be left alone. She had had such a great evening but it was ruined by Mike. She thought she'd be able to just skip eating since neither Stef nor Lena would be there but Mike took over and insisted and she was so mad._

_"I really don't care." Stef said flatly. "Make a choice or I'll do it for you."_

_"You can't force me to eat." Callie challenged._

_"Don't underestimate me Callie." Stef said, beginning to get annoyed._

_"How about just some yogurt?" Lena suggested, trying to defuse the situation._

_"No Lena." Stef stopped her. "She doesn't get to eat just yogurt. The deal was that she had to eat a meal. If she wants our trust then she needs to earn it and this isn't earning it." She pointed to the way Callie was behaving._

_Callie watched as Stef and Lena argued. At least the attention was off her for a while._

_"Fine, I'll have a yogurt." Callie said, knowing that it would get the mom's to argue some more._

_"Well that's not on the menu tonight." Stef told her flatly._

_"Why not?" Callie asked. "Lena said I could, __**she has the authority too doesn't she?**__"_

_She knew she was pitting one mom against the other but right now it was working in her favor because as soon as she said that Stef blew out a frustrated sigh. "Fine." She said in anger as she left the __**house **__leaving Callie alone with Lena._

_Lena looked at Callie and saw the smirk on her face. They had played right into her game and she seemed pretty proud of herself with the results. Lena couldn't help but feel like she had helped Callie along by contradicting Stef. Stef really was just trying to get Callie to eat a proper meal and thinking back Lena realized that she hadn't had one of those in days. The amount she had been eating was less than an toddler._


	2. Chapter 2

Callie sat at the table finishing her small tub of yogurt, not looking up at Lena. She felt a little pleased with herself though she felt bad that she had made them fight. But at least tonight, she'd get things to go her way. Lately she'd been the one giving in all the time and she just needed to feel some power.

When Callie finished the last bite of yogurt she finally looked up at Lena and was suddenly taken aback - Lena was no longer standing, staring towards where Stef had left, looking hurt - now she was looking directly at Callie, angrily.

"Go to bed." Was all Lena said as she snatched the empty tub from her and went to rinse it out.

Callie carefully got up and left the kitchen silently, she had never seen this side to Lena. She had gotten exactly what she wanted by making each mom feel like the other one held more authority but she knew that it was in her best interest to just stay out of sight - for tonight at least.

* * *

Once Callie was gone Lena finally just slumped into a chair as the tears began to fall. She felt so annoyed with herself. Stef had been right all along, to worry about Callie. Callie wasn't ready to be sent off like that for the evening but Lena had been so desperate for some free time with Stef that she hadn't really thought anything through. Stef had stood strong and firm, making Callie do what needed to be done but with Lena's help Callie had made her feel completely betrayed.

Lena had seen the anger in Stef's eyes right before she left but she could also see the hurt and she knew that came from the fact that Lena hadn't supported her. All Stef was trying to do was get Callie to eat a proper meal but instead of helping her Lena had just made it more difficult.

Lena reluctantly climbed the stairs to check on her other kids, wondering if Stef would be home to say goodnight to them too before they actually went to sleep.

_She found the four other kids sitting with Jude in his room._

_"Hey baby." __**Lena **__said as Brandon moved over so she could take his spot._

_"Why does she do that?" Jude asked in a tearful voice._

_"Sweetheart she's having a hard time." __**Lena **__explained. "Don't worry. She will be okay. We'll make sure of it."_

_Jude didn't look convinced but he did look tired and so did all the other kids._

_"Off to bed now babies." __**Lena **__said as she gave each one a kiss. "Don't worry about Callie. She'll feel better tomorrow."_

She watched them leave, not mentioning that Stef had left, she figured she'd be back before they actually got to bed.

* * *

Lena went to her room to brush her teeth and get ready for bed herself before grabbing her phone and calling Stef. She still hadn't come home yet and Lena wanted her home in time to say goodnight to the kids. She sighed in frustration when the phone went straight into voicemail, indicating that Stef had turned off her phone. Stef was always the more hot tempered of them both but Lena had seldom seen her get this angry. Stef usually never allowed anyone to just walk away in the middle of an argument and the fact that she had done it herself, meant that she was more angry than ever.

Lena sighed as she picked up her book and headed downstairs to wait for Stef to get home. She'd read to keep her mind occupied though she was certain that five seconds after she read the first line she's forget what it said.

* * *

Upstairs Callie was in her room, lying on her bed. She had been brushing her teeth when Lena went to talk to the other kids and she had half expected Lena to come talk to her after but when she didn't Callie just climbed under the covers, waiting for Stef to get home. She had known that they would be angry with her - that's the reason that she did what she did but she also knew that she would have to deal with the consequences soon enough. Once Stef calmed down she would not allow Callie to get away with what she'd done and this time she was certain Lena wouldn't be on her side.

"Good night." Mariana said softly as she turned out the light and climbed into her own bed. She hadn't liked the scene with Callie that evening but she was trying to be supportive - but lately Callie had been causing so much trouble that the others were afraid to do or say anything that would upset her.

* * *

Lena must have dozed off at some point because the next thing that she knew it was four am the following morning. Lena sat up and pulled the curtain aside, expecting to see Stef's car out front but panicked slightly when she found the spot empty. She quickly pulled her phone again and called Stef but once again the phone went directly to voicemail.

Unsure of what to do next Lena called Mike. He'd be able to help her. She felt a little guilty calling him this early in the morning but as the phone rang in her ear she glanced outside at the empty driveway again and knew she was doing the right thing.

"Lena?" Mike asked groggily, though the concern in his voice was evident - there would be no other explanation as to why Lena was calling at this ungodly hour.

"Hey Mike, you haven't heard from Stef have you?" Lena asked, trying to sound casual.

"No." Mike said. "Why? Where is she?"

"She took off soon after you left last night and hasn't returned. Her phone's going straight to voicemail, I was hoping she'd called you or something." Lena said.

"What happened?" Mike asked as he got out of bed to get dressed.

"We had a fight." Lena said. "It was my fault really. She was just trying to get Callie to eat a proper meal, something she hadn't done in a while, but I kept contradicting her. She took off when I played right into Callie's game."

"I'm coming over." Mike said, hearing the desperation in Lena's voice. "You just relax, I'll stop by the station to see if she's there and bring her back if she is."

Lena paced the entire downstairs as she waited for Mike and every sound she heard drove her to check to see if Stef had returned. When she was finally sure she heard a car drive up she knew it had to be Mike. She opened the door but he was alone, Stef wasn't with him.

"She didn't go down to the station." Mike informed Lena as he entered the house. "No one's heard from her but they'll call me if she shows up."

"What do I do?" Lena asked in desperation.

"Have you tried Sharon?" Mike asked, thinking that Stef may have called her mother.

"No." Lena said. "Stef wouldn't have called her in the middle of the night. There's nothing she could do from there. It's around six-thirty now."

"Just call, Lena." Mike urged. "You'll feel better."

Mike waited while Lena dialed her mother-in-laws number and began talking before pulling out his own phone to make some calls.

* * *

"Hey Sharon." Lena said. "Sorry to wake you so early but has Stef called you by any chance?" Lena asked, not beating around the bush.

"No honey, why?" Sharon asked, hearing the worry in Lena's voice and taking note of the early hour east coast time meaning the even earlier hour on the west coast.

"She left at nine last night and hasn't come back. Her phone's off too. I was just hoping she'd called you." Lena said.

"Is everything okay?" Sharon asked. "She didn't leave for work I gather."

"No, not for work." Lena said and then with a sigh she related all the events starting with Callie cutting herself and ending with their fight over yogurt.

"I know you're worried but we both know Stef and how much she loves you and the kids. She'll be back." Sharon tried to calm her daughter-in-law down. "She probably just needs some space."

"She's never gone like this Sharon." Lena said miserably. Stef had walked out in anger a few times before but she had always been back within the hour. Lena just hoped that nothing bad had happened that was causing Stef to stay away.

"It's been stressful on all of you." Sharon observed. "And you know my daughter doesn't take it well when she can't just fix things." Sharon tried to lighten the mood.

But Lena was too worried to laugh or even crack a smile and her sigh told Sharon as much.

"What are the kids doing?" Sharon asked, wondering if they knew their mom was gone and if Lena was having a hard time handling all of them.

"Sleeping." Lena answered, Mike's here though, he's trying to find her.

"Well I'm gonna take the first flight out I can and should be there by the evening." Sharon answered. "It sounds like you guys could use some help."

"Thanks Sharon." Lena said. She felt bad dragging her mother-in-law all the way across the country but right now she needed all the support she could get.

"Anytime honey." Sharon smiled. "And don't worry too much, Stef won't go far."

* * *

Lena headed outside to find Mike talking to their captain.

"I'm not sure cap..." He said. "She just got mad and took off."

Captain Roberts was a tough, independent woman much like Stef and she cared a lot about her troops. She was always encouraging them to be honest with their spouses and partners about the dangers of their jobs and to talk about the things they deal with so that it doesn't build up inside them. She liked Stef and knew that her disappearance was not only out of character but also a last resort for her.

"The guys at the station are constantly searching for her phone so the minute she turns it on we'll find her." Mike said in answer to whatever the captain had asked.

"No, not so far." Mike answered again. "But I'm gonna call the hospitals as ask too. If you can have the guys on patrol look out for her too."

Lena suddenly sighed in regret as she listened to Mike. They were obviously formulating a plan and hopefully would find Stef soon enough but she just hoped it wouldn't be in some hospital.

Mike hung up the phone. "Captain Roberts sent out an under-the-radar APB so people are looking around for her." He told Lena. "We'll check the hospitals in case something happened and the moment someone finds her they'll call Roberts."

"Thanks Mike." Lena said, almost in tears.

"No problem Lena." He said, guiding the woman to the couch and made her sit down. He could see how pale she was from the worry and lack of sleep. "I'm gonna make you some tea."

* * *

Four hours later Mariana and Callie made an appearance. They came down the stairs, both sleepily rubbing their eyes. Both girls stopped at the entrance to the kitchen when they saw Lena and Mike sitting together. Mike on the phone and Lena listening intently, both of them with worried looks on their faces.

"What's going on?" Mariana asked, pulling Lena out of her focus.

Lena glanced at her daughters - Mariana looking confused and Callie looking a little afraid.

"Where's mom?" Callie asked in a small voice, terrified that something had happened and that she was the reason.

"She's not home yet." Lena answered, trying to keep the worry out of her voice but she knew she wasn't successful. "Mike's trying to find her."

"When did she leave?" Mariana asked, still confused. Her mother wasn't working nights lately and she never left without saying bye even when she did.

"Nine last night." Lena answered her daughter, watching as Callie's face paled completely. "She was angry and she needed some space."

Mariana's face filled with worry before she turned to glare at her sister - giving her an angry look, knowing that Callie's behavior the night before had something to do with her mom's absence.

"Mariana, please go wake your brothers." Lena said, afraid that the two girls would start fighting. Right now she couldn't deal with that and she didn't want to set Callie off again and have her act out.

Mariana reluctantly climbed up the stairs, leaving the two adults and Callie in the kitchen.

Callie didn't say a word, she had no idea what to say - she was afraid that she had pushed too far and that Stef wouldn't come home or that something happened and she couldn't come home. What would happen to her after that? Would Lena still love her? Would she even still want her after what she'd done?


	3. Chapter 3

Callie went to sit in the breakfast nook, she didn't know what else to do - she wanted to be out of sight but she didn't want to go back upstairs either because she wanted to know what was happening. She knew that once Mariana told the boys what had happened they'd be mad at her too and probably no one would come to tell her what was going on so she just decided to sit and watch.

Lena was too worried to really deal with Callie so she just left her alone. She knew that she should get her to eat something but she didn't really have it in her and so she began to prepare what to say to the children when they got downstairs, but first she turned her attention back to Mike who was just hanging up the phone.

"She's not in any hospital in San Diego or the surrounding cities." Mike said, hanging up the call. "Only three woman came in with no I.D. but none of them matched Stef. Only one was blond but she had short hair and blue eyes, the other two were dark haired women."

"What happens if she's brought in later?" Lena asked. "Will you have to call them all again?"

"They have to report any Jane Doe's to the police so they'll look out of her and call the precinct if they match the description." Mike explained. "But I'll call again in a few hours just to make sure."

"God, where could she be?" Lena asked, more to herself than to Mike, knowing that even he didn't have that answer.

"How angry was she?" Mike asked. It wasn't like Stef to just disappear like this but he still hoped that it was just anger keeping her away and nothing else.

"I don't think I've ever seen her more angry." Lena admitted. "And she was so stressed out and worried about Callie that I think it just got too much for her." She said, not really caring that Callie could hear every word.

"I'm hoping she really did just need a day to herself and nothing happened to her but this isn't like her - she never just disappears." Mike voiced his thoughts.

Mariana returned with the boys and all four of them looked worried.

"I'm going to drive around and see if I can spot her car." Mike said, deciding to give Lena a little while alone with her children. "Call me if you hear anything or if you need anything."

"Thanks Mike." Lena said gratefully.

"I'll pick up some lunch too." Mike offered. "Don't worry about cooking."

Lena smiled gratefully though she wondered if cooking would actually help take her mind of her missing wife. Though she knew that she really wasn't thinking straight and would probably burn their meal.

* * *

"Where's mom?" Brandon asked as he watched his dad leave.

"We're not sure guys." Lena answered. "We're trying to find out."

"Why would she just leave?" Jesus asked. He knew that they were having a hard time with Callie but it wasn't like their mom to just disappear.

"She was angry." Lena answered. "She needed some time to cool off."

The moment she said the words all eyes turned to Callie to glare at her. They knew that she was the reason that Stef was angry and missing though none of them said a word.

"Mom was angry with me." Lena said, drawing her children's attention back. "I upset her." It was her lack of support that got Stef so angry to begin with so it wasn't fair to lay all the blame on Callie and besides she wasn't sure when Callie would start acting out again and become defiant and she didn't want to rock the boat.

"Can we go help look for her?" Jesus asked, feeling agitated just standing there doing nothing.

"I don't think you guys should be out." Lena said, knowing that her children were worried and not thinking straight.

"We'll be fine mom." Mariana added. "We'll stay together and just walk around and see if we can find her."

Lena thought about it for a moment but she could see the desperation on her children's faces. "Alright." She finally said, but stay together and call me and answer when I call you."

"We will mom." Jesus said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and bolting up the stairs to get changed, followed by his older brother and twin.

* * *

"You going with them baby?" Lena asked when she noticed that Jude hadn't left the kitchen yet.

"I thought maybe I could stay here with you." Jude asked timidly, he hoped that he could convince his sister to stop causing trouble by staying with her but he didn't want to say that out loud.

"Of course you can." Lena said, giving him a quick hug. "Go on up and get changed and I'll make you some breakfast."

"I can just have some cereal." Jude offered. "You don't need to make anything fancy."

"Cereal it is." Lena said, pulling the options down off the fridge. "Tell your brothers and sister they need to eat before they leave too please."

"Okay." Came Jude's voice as he disappeared up the stairs himself.

* * *

With no other children downstairs, Lena turned her attention to the one still left with her. She could see the fear in Callie's eyes even though Callie tried to look indifferent. The moment Callie noticed Lena watching her she became engrossed in her phone, avoiding eye-contact as much as possible.

Lena sighed, wondering what to do. Should she go to the girl and try to talk to her or just leave her alone since she was just sitting and not doing anything she wasn't supposed to. She decided to just leave Callie for a while longer, at least until the other kids were out of the house. She didn't want to make things worse.

Instead, Lena busied herself getting bowls and spoons for everyone and taking the milk out of the fridge so that her other four children ate. She also pulled out Jesus' pill and set it on the table, she didn't want him to forget it in his haste to leave.

* * *

The kids all came down and were stuffing their faces as fast as they could with cereal. Lena had put out a bowl for Callie as well but she didn't say anything to the girl - just left the bowl and spoon in her usual place, hoping that Callie would come on her own to eat.

She should have knowing that that was just wishful thinking for Callie never moved an inch from her place in the corner nor did she say a word.

Just as the kids were taking their bowls to the sink the phone began to ring and the whole kitchen went still as they all watched Lena grab the phone and answer it.

"Hello." They heard her say and all hoped to see her face fill with relief but instead in filled with despair. "Hello Captain, no we haven't heard from her yet." She said, indicating that it was not Stef.

The kids listened to her part of the conversation, gathering that even the police were looking out for their mom but hadn't had any luck so far.

"Mike's driving around and the kids are going to look around as well." Lena said into the phone. "Yes that would definitely help, thank you."

Lena hung up and turned to her children. "The captain is sending two officers to drive around with you." Lena said and the relief was evident in her voice. She was obviously not too happy with sending her children out alone at this time and this offer was a compromise she could live with. Mom's old partner Vasquez and his new partner Morris are stopping by and then you're all going together.

All three kids knew not to argue with their mom and they themselves felt a little more relaxed knowing that others were out looking for her as well.

* * *

It was just before lunch and the kids still hadn't gotten back but they called Lena constantly and texted her to tell them where they were at all times. Officer Vasquez had bought them all hotdogs and insisted that they eat even though the kids just wanted to look around for their mom.

They had checked the beach, the hiking trails, the parks, anywhere they thought their mom might go to just clear her mind but they hadn't seen her or her car anywhere. Jesus even suggested checking their local pool since Stef enjoyed swimming but they all knew that if Stef did go for a swim it would have been in the ocean, not a pool. But they checked anyways just like they checked the mall and the skate park and the pier, all places they knew Stef wouldn't really go even to just clear her mind.

Back home Lena hadn't left the kitchen and neither had the other two kids. Jude was angry with Callie and while he didn't want her to be in any major trouble he still wished she hadn't caused all this chaos. He had filled her bowl with cereal and milk and taken it to her but he hadn't said a word as he put it down beside her and walked back to Lena. Neither Callie nor Lena said anything either as they looked at the bowl, untouched, even two hours later.

* * *

Mike came in the door around lunch time with a couple of pizzas and a salad for Lena. He knew that part of his job was to make sure she ate and took care of herself. The last thing anyone needed was for her to stress herself out so much that she makes herself sick or puts herself or the baby in danger.

"I'm going to pick Sharon up from the airport at two." Mike said as she pulled Lena to a chair and sat her down with the salad. "You need to eat." He instructed firmly, when she looked like she was about to protest.

"Thanks Mike." Lena said, picking up her fork and taking a bite of her grilled chicken Caesar salad.

"Don't worry about it Lena." Mike said kindly. He was just as worried about Stef as she was and he hoped that she was okay and came home soon so that he could kill her himself the first chance he got.

He instantly regretted his thoughts when his phone rang and he answered to Mercy Hospital calling to say that a blonde woman with green eyes had been brought in with no I.D.


	4. Chapter 4

Mike drove Lena to the hospital, knowing that there was no way he would be able to convince her to stay put until he checked to see if the woman was, in fact, Stef. He had called Vasquez and told him what was going on and Vasquez agreed to bring the kids home and wait with them all until Mike and Lena got back while Morris when to pick Sharon up at the airport. He was going to call once he had her to see if he should bring her to the hospital or home to the kids.

Lena wasn't sure what she was hoping to find once she got to the ER. On the one hand she hoped that it was Stef, just so she would know where she was but on the other she didn't want Stef to be in an ER possibly fighting for her life.

She barely waited for Mike to stop the car before she jumped out and rushed in, stopping at the first nurse she found, asking for the woman that had been brought into the ER. Mike and Lena were taken to a curtain and Lena paused a moment, catching her breath and grabbing Mike's hand and squeezing it tight for support.

Lena couldn't describe what she felt when she saw the woman lying on a gurney. She couldn't decide whether she was thankful that it wasn't Stef, unconscious, with blood covering half her face, pouring out of the huge gash on her forehead or that she wished it was so that her wife would no longer been 'missing' and she would finally know where she was.

Luckily for Lena she didn't need to say a word to the nurse who was waiting for confirmation on the ID of the woman - Mike did it for her.

"It's not her." Mike said and Lena could her the conflict in his voice as well..

"I'm sorry sir." The nurse said sympathetically. "We'll call if anyone else is brought in."

Lena was still numb as Mike drove her back home. Neither of them said a word but the fear increased in each of them as they resigned to the fact that Stef's whereabouts were still unknown.

* * *

Meanwhile at home Vasquez was doing his best to entertain the kids. He knew Brandon and the twins well, he had come over many times while he was parters with Stef and now that he was transferred to a different unit he missed the home cooked meals and easy chatter with Stef and Lena. He had been lucky to have Stef as his first parter to show him the ropes, she had cared for him and encouraged him and helped him become the cop that he was today.

Brandon, the twins and Jude were all sitting in the kitchen while Vasquez was telling them stories of their mom - most of which the older three had already heard before, but he needed to do something to distract them from their worries. He kept an eye on the girl sitting at the other end of the room, but he didn't say a word to her and he could tell that the other children were avoiding her as well.

"My first day on the job your mom told me that if we needed to shoot anyone, I had to do it - she had a clean record and didn't want to ruin that." Vasquez said, laughing at the memory of how nervous he was.

"Mom would never make jokes like that around mama." Mariana said smiling. "She hates guns."

"I learnt that the hard way." Vasquez said. "One day I put my gun down on the table in the middle of lunch and Lena nearly fainted on the spot."

"Yeah, she insists mom has to lock it up the second she gets home." Jesus said. "I used to think it was so cool that mom had a gun and that freaked mama out even more."

"You wanted to play with it." Brandon reminded him.

"Mama nearly killed you that day." Mariana said. "She was so angry she nearly ripped your arm off."

"Well, thanks to me we at least got to hold it for a while." Jesus reminded them with a grin. True to his word he had never tried to do anything like that again and neither had the other two, not that it was ever left out for it to happen again anyways.

Everyone was laughing until Jude piped up. "My old foster father had a gun. He got it after Callie destroyed his car, said it would keep us in line."

Suddenly the table was filled with silence and Brandon especially felt uneasy, remembering that very gun being pointed at him and Callie when they went to rescue Jude.

"Well if I know your mom she'd never let anything bad ever happen to you." Vasquez said, trying to liven the mood again and remind the boy that this how was different.

* * *

Lena and Mike got back home and everyone was upset to learn that it wasn't Stef. Neither adult had described the state in which the woman was in so the kids continued to wish it had been their mom, not realizing that the woman was in critical condition and may not survive.

"I wish she'd just come home already." Jesus said, starting to get upset. "If she's just angry then she should come back home."

"We'll find her Jesus." Mike tried to reassure the teen.

"No, this isn't right, she would have killed us if one of us had just disappeared like this, how come she gets to just walk off?" Jesus yelled, he hated not knowing where his mom was and he was angry with her for just taking off.

"Honey, why don't you go for a walk and look for mom." Lena suggested, hoping the exercise would help him. "When you get back grandma should be here too." She knew that either Mike or Vasquez would accompany him so she wasn't worried.

"Fine." Jesus said in a huff before he grabbed his shoes and ran out the door.

* * *

"I'm sorry." Jude said softly. Mike and the other two had gone out again to wander around looking for Stef but once again Jude had opted to stay behind.

"For what honey?" Lena asked. The two of them were up in Lena's room. Lena was folding laundry, for lack of something more productive to do. She was exhausted and wanted to sleep and desperately needed a proper meal but she was too worried to do either. Mindlessly folding laundry was something she could do robotically.

"That Stef left." Jude said.

"Honey, it's not your fault." Lena said, sitting down on the bed next to her son. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"But Callie did." Jude said. "She's the reason that Stef left."

"It's not just because of Callie honey." Lena said. "It was me too. I didn't help mom with Callie."

"But why does Callie do that?" Jude asked miserably. "Why can't she just be normal?"

"Sweetheart, Callie's having a really hard time." Lena explained. "She's scared and she doesn't know how to handle it."

"But what is she so scared of?" Jude asked. He was finally in a home where he had absolutely nothing to be afraid of until now - until Callie sent his mom away.

"I think she's afraid of letting her guard down." Lena explained. "She's afraid that it will all be taken from her."

"But shouldn't she try to keep it instead of making everyone angry with her so that they don't want her anymore." Jude asked innocently.

Lena caught Jude's chin, making sure he was looking at her. "First of all, we do want Callie. No matter what happens, we still want her. We'll work through whatever she dishes out at us, but we do still want her. And second, I don't think she realizes what she's doing really." Lena explained. "I think she's unconsciously trying to keep herself detached."

"Well it's working." Jude said miserably. "No one wants to talk to her at all."

Lena thought of the girl that was still sitting in the breakfast nook, alone, silent and still with an empty stomach. She suddenly knew that she had to go and talk to the girl. If Jude thought that they no longer wanted his sister then she probably thought that as well and that was something Lena didn't want, no matter how angry or worried she was.

Lena headed downstairs to talk to Callie, leaving Jude to finish folding the laundry but the moment she reached the bottom of the stairs the front door opened and Sharon walked in, distracting Lena from her goal.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hi honey." Sharon said, giving Lena a hug before holding her at arms length to study her face. She could see the dark circles under Lena's eyes, indicating the lack of sleep and the worry.

"Hey Sharon." Lena said, her eyes misting over. "Thanks for coming down."

"Of course." Sharon said. She was just as worried about her daughter as was everyone else but she was also worried about her pregnant daughter-in-law. "And now that I'm here I want you to go on upstairs and get some sleep." She instructed firmly.

Lena was about to protest but Sharon stopped her. "No arguing, I promise to come and get you if I hear anything but you need to go lie down for an hour at least."

"I was going to talk to Callie and see if I can get her to eat something." Lena explained. "The last thing she ate was half a tub of yogurt at dinner last night."

"I'll worry about Callie." Sharon said. "I'll make her eat. You just leave it to me."

"She's stubborn." Lena warned. "She'll throw a fit and drive you crazy."

Sharon smiled mischievously at Lena. "You think raising Stef was a piece of cake?" She asked, thankful for the grin she received from the younger woman.

"Okay, call me if you need anything." Lena said. "Jude and I will be in my room."

* * *

Callie hadn't moved from her corner since she sat there six hours ago, she was too afraid to do anything and just like she had thought no one had said a word to her. She was glad that she chose to stay downstairs because this way she at least heard every word and knew what was going on. She tried not to let it show but she had never been more afraid in her life - She wished Stef would just come back home so she could apologize and see for herself that her mom was okay.

She had heard Sharon come in and she had heard her and Lena talking so she was prepared when her new grandmother walked towards her.

"You doing okay honey?" Sharon asked, surprising Callie. She hadn't expected Sharon to be nice to her, after all she was the reason that her daughter was awol.

Callie remained silent as she watched Sharon take a seat beside her.

"You know, when your mom was about thirteen years old she ran away from home." Sharon said. "She got mad at me for not letting her go out with her friends at eleven at night so she decided to run away instead."

The tiniest of smiles spread on Callie's face as she imagined a young, feisty Stef climbing out her bedroom window.

"We knew she'd be at the beach, that's where she always went to think and she loved to swim in those waves so her father drove down to keep an eye on her. I knew she was angry but I also knew she'd be back. Stef wasn't one to stay away long." Sharon said, trying to assure the teen that her mother would be back. "She just needs some time to herself sometimes."

Callie listened intently to the story thought she refused to make eye-contact and forged nonchalance but in truth she wanted to hear the story, she wanted to know for certain that her mom would be back and that she hadn't pushed her away entirely.

Callie felt increasingly guilty. She hadn't meant for things to get this out of hand, all she really wanted was to keep them at arms length so that when things went south, like they always did, her heart would be protected just a little bit more. But instead she had ruined everything for herself as well as for everyone else. Even Jude wasn't really talking to her and Lena was just avoiding her. How she wished that she could go find Stef and bring her back home but she had no idea where to look or what to say if she found her - somehow 'I'm sorry' just didn't seem to cut it.

"You're a lot like she is you know." Sharon continued. "And after raising her I have no doubt that you'll grow up to be a fine young woman just like her."

Sharon watched the teen carefully as she spoke, she wanted to point out the similarities between the two so that Callie would realize that she wasn't as bad as she imagined. Sharon could see the fear in Callie's eyes though the teen was trying hard to hide it. She could see Callie stiffen as she spoke, indicating that she was getting the right point across but she remembered Lena's warning not to rally the girl up too much so instead she decided to change the topic.

"How about some lunch huh?" Sharon asked, patting the girl's leg. "I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm starved and I'll bet you are too."

Little did she know that that was exactly what it would take to send Callie over the edge.

* * *

Lena had taken Jude to bed with her, knowing that the boy was just as worried as she was and could use a few hours of just relaxing, though she knew that neither of them would really sleep. She had been lying down for just over fifteen minutes when the commotion began downstairs.

"Callie, you have to eat something." Sharon said as Lena and Jude made their way downstairs to find Callie had knocked a plate out of Sharon's hand. It was now broken on the floor at their feet. - the noise that had alerted Lena to the chaos.

Callie still hadn't said a word to Sharon and just watched as Sharon had made a sandwich for her. The moment the older woman tried to hand Callie the plate Callie pushed it away but Sharon, almost as stubborn as Stef, just pushed it back causing Callie to knock it out of her hands.

"Callie, you need to calm down." Sharon continued as she tried to move the teen away from the broken glass on the floor but Callie was still angry so she flung her phone across the room, slamming it against the wall and breaking the screen.

Lena was about to say something but Jude beat her to it.

"Stop it Callie." Jude yelled, as tears filled his eyes. "Just stop it. Why don't you just disappear? You make everyone leave. You're..."

But Lena silenced him by pulling him into a quick hug.

Callie instantly stopped her struggle as tears filled her own eyes. She tried to walk away and make it out the door but Sharon held her arm to stop her. Lena rushed forward to help Sharon calm Callie down while Jude remained rooted in his spot on the stairs.

When Lena got to Callie she quickly wrapped her arms around the now still teenager and held her tight while Sharon let go and guided a still crying Jude back upstairs, leaving Lena alone with Callie.

Lena held on to Callie, stroking her hair until she felt the girl relax in her arms. Then she pushed Callie back into the window seat and sat down beside her without letting go of her arm. "Are you hurt?" Lena asked, finally releasing Callie far enough to check her bare feet.

Callie shook her head as she curled her feet up under her. She had made sure she hadn't stepped in any glass, she hadn't wanted to cause any more trouble.

"Okay, then please wait right here till I get this cleaned up." Lena said as she got up and went to get a dustpan and brush.

Callie sat still as she watched Lena brush up the broken plate and picked up the sandwich and threw it all away. Lena then came back to sit beside her, though she didn't touch her or talk. She just wanted the girl to know that she wasn't alone. If Callie wanted the contact she could initiate it herself but Lena didn't want to risk upsetting her again.

The two sat like that for about ten minutes until the doorbell rang. For a moment Lena hoped it was Stef but then she realized that Stef wouldn't have rung the doorbell, she would have used her key - unless she had lost it.

With that thought Lena got up and rushed to the door as Sharon and Jude came down the stairs as well.


	6. Chapter 6

The wave of disappointment that clouded Lena's face when she opened the door to find Captain Roberts standing there was clearly visible on her face.

"Captain?" Lena said as she opened the door wider for the woman to enter.

"We got a trace on her card." Roberts said, not waiting for pleasantries, knowing that Lena would want to know what she had found out.

"Where is she?" Lena asked.

"She checked out of a Motel 8 in Albuquerque about three hours ago." Roberts said.

"New Mexico?" Lena said in shock. "She went to New Mexico."

"We tried her phone again but it's still off. We called the motel but they said she paid when she left so she wasn't there anymore." Roberts explained. "The man at the front desk said that she came in around nine this morning, rented a room and obviously slept because she looked like hell when she got there. She woke up a few hours later, had something to eat at their little cafe and then checked out around one."

"How did she get there?" Sharon asked. "She must have had to stop for gas so how come that didn't show up on her card?"

"She must have paid in cash." Roberts explained. "Hopefully she's out of cash now and will use her card for gas so we can keep track of her."

"Can't we call the police there to find her?" Lena asked, desperate to get a trace on her wife.

"I've called the head of the Albuquerque Police Department and they said they'll keep a look out for her but since she's already checked out of the motel we don't know where to send them." Roberts informed her.

As Roberts said this last line Mike walked through the door with Brandon and Mariana. He had clearly head what Roberts had said and a frown instantly formed on his face.

"Albuquerque?" He asked. "She's in Albuquerque?"

"She used her card at a Motel 8." Roberts explained once again for his benefit.

"Are we sure it's her?" Mike asked, wondering if her card had been stolen.

"The reception desk confirmed her description " Roberts assured him. "And we asked if she was injured in anyway, they said she just looked exhausted.

"So what do we do now?" Lena asked, slightly relieved to learn that her wife was okay.

"We wait." Roberts said. "Hopefully she'll use her card again and we'll be able to get an idea of where she's going to be. If she's headed further away we'll lock down her card so that she can't go anywhere and then we'll send someone out to get her."

"I'll go." Mike quickly offered. "I'll be able to bring her back."

"No way." Lena interrupted. "I'm going, or at least I'm going with you."

"Lena, you really shouldn't." Sharon, Mike and Roberts all said.

"I'll get her back I promise." Mike added. "She can't get far with no money."

"I can't believe she did this." Lena said more to herself than the others in the room. "I can't believe she just took off."

Mike and Roberts excused themselves and headed to the dining room to make a plan while Sharon took Lena to the living room.

"Honey she was stressed." Sharon said, trying to help Lena. "She obviously needed a day to herself. She'll be back."

"It's eight hundred miles away Sharon." Lena said angrily. Now that she knew Stef was okay the anger was taking over. "You don't go that far away just because you're angry."

Sharon didn't say anything, she knew Lena was upset and she knew that she needed to get the anger out.

* * *

Jesus and Vasquez had returned and when Vasquez learned that Stef was okay he decided to head down to the station for a while. Jesus went to the kitchen to join his siblings and found Lena answering questions.

"Why did she leave?" Mariana was asking. "I know you said she was angry with you but about what?"

Lena glanced at Callie, still sitting where she had left her by the window in the breakfast nook, before looking back at Mariana.

But Mariana caught the look and so did the others. "It was because of Callie wasn't it?" Mariana asked bitterly. She had been trying all day not to blame this on her sister but just like Lena, once the worry was gone the anger took it's place.

"It was because I didn't support her with Callie." Lena stated, not wanting Callie to feel like she was to blame.

"What do you mean?" Brandon asked, wanting more details.

"Mom was trying to get Callie to eat something but Callie wasn't so I suggested yogurt." Lena explained. "Stef got upset because yogurt wasn't a meal."

"She took off for that?" Jesus asked in disbelief.

"That was just the last straw." Lena said. "She's been worried and stressed for days and she just needed some space."

"This is crap." Jesus said as he jumped off his stool and bolted upstairs, mumbling something under his breath causing Mike and Roberts to coming into the kitchen.

Lena watched her son storm upstairs but let him go. She knew he also needed some time to himself to just cool off. She turned to her other children - Brandon and Mariana were talking to each other and Jude remained silent, looking down at the table. Callie was holding her phone and tracing her thumb over the crack in the screen.

"Jesus is right." Mariana finally said, breaking the silence. "She just took off and she isn't even turning on her phone. If we had done that she'd have killed us."

"I know you're angry guys." Lena said. "I am too. What mom did isn't right and she will hear about it. But I want you to remember that she loves you very much and would never do anything that would keep her away from you. We'll get her back and we'll all talk together as a family and you'll get your chance to tell her how you feel and so will she. For now let's just focus on getting her back."

"How about some dodge ball?" Mike suggested, hoping to get the kids minds off their mom and have them release some of their stress outdoors.

Lena busied herself making sandwiches for everyone while the kids joined Mike and Captain Roberts outside - she needed something to do while she waited for a trace on Stef. Now that she knew she was okay she had nothing to do but think about how angry she was. She was no longer angry with Callie though, all her anger was now reserved for Stef. Each time Lena glanced at Callie she could see the worry on the girl's face and she guessed it was because she was partly the reason that Stef had left. Lena knew that Callie thought something bad would happen to her, she could see it on her face, but she also knew that promising her that everything was going to be alright wasn't going to do much good. They'd been making that promise for months now but Callie still didn't believe it. The only way to prove it to her was to keep showing it to her and that's exactly what Lena planned to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Two hours later Captain Roberts' phone rang and their third round of dodge ball stopped instantly, in the hopes that it was regarding Stef. Jesus went to get Lena and the whole family listened as Roberts spoke to who was obviously the bank, regarding another transaction on Stef's card.

"She filled gas in Phoenix." Roberts said as she hung up the phone. "She heading back this way."

"Oh thank god." Lena said as Brandon quickly pulled out his phone and tried to call his mom one more time. But it was no use, her phone was still off.

"No answer?" Mariana asked as Brandon groaned and put the phone back in his pocket.

"No." Brandon said, frowning. Nothing like this had ever happened with his family before and he was so angry. His mom always told him that he wasn't allowed to just walk away and here she crossed over two states without a word to anyone. What could possibly have made her that angry? Knowing his mom, he began to realize that it wasn't her fight with Lena or her stress over Callie that sent her away - there had to be something more.

"At least she's on her way back right?" Mariana said optimistically, for her own sake as well as the others.

* * *

Lena had stayed in the kitchen so that Callie wouldn't be alone while the others were outside and when Jesus came rushing in to say that the bank called she quickly rushed out. After the conversation and once Roberts told them what was going on Lena turned to go back into the kitchen and that's when she saw Callie standing in the doorway to the back yard - the first time she'd moved since she sat at the window.

"She's coming home." Lena said, knowing that Callie wanted to know though she'd never ask. "It's going to be okay."

But Callie wasn't so sure - while she was thrilled that Stef was coming back home and that she was fine she was also afraid of what would happen to her once Stef was back. Would they still want her? Would they send her away? Would they even care about what happened to her? For the first time Callie began to cry silently to herself - she had wanted to push them, test them, make sure that they meant what they said. But Callie had never meant to push so hard and now she was afraid that maybe, this time, she had pushed just a little too far.

* * *

After the phone call Mike called up the gas station where Stef had filled up her car and using a little influence he got some information on Stef. The guy behind the counter told him that the woman came in, paid for gas and a couple of cans of soda before heading out again. The man had also said that she didn't look hurt or injured in any way, just in a rush.

Lena felt more and more relieved the more she learned and now all she wanted was for Stef to get home.

* * *

"Hey honey, you're awfully quiet." Sharon said to Brandon as she entered his room. She had noticed that he'd gotten more quiet after the phone call while everyone else's spirits had lifted quite a bit at the thought of their mother coming home.

"Just thinking." Brandon said as he sat up to make room for his grandmother on his bed.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked, and he knew that just like his mom, she wouldn't let it go until he told her what was on his mind.

"I'm just mad at her." Brandon said. "I get that she needed some time and space, I've needed it too sometimes and I've walked away when she didn't want me to but she just left. She left the damn state and never told anyone." Brandon ranted, finally letting all this thoughts lose. "We're lucky that she and dad are cops and we had the advantage of tracking her otherwise we would have had no clue where she was or what had happened."

Sharon listened to her grandson without interrupting. She as angry too but she also knew her daughter and she knew that sometimes Stef got too stubborn, too angry, and too impulsive to think straight. Those things were both her strengths as well as her flaws - her drive and determination made her someone who didn't give up easily but at the same time it drove her to the point where she was ready to explode - and now was obviously one of those times.

"Mama thinks she's mad at her." Brandon continued, unaware of the thoughts his grandmother was having. "But I don't think that it." Brandon admitted. "She's been mad at all of us before but she's never left. I think there's something else that mama either isn't telling us or she doesn't know herself."

"I think you're right." Sharon told him. "I don't think she left because she was mad at Lena or Callie or anyone else. I think she left because she was mad at herself."

"Why would she be mad at herself?" Brandon asked.

"You know your mother." Sharon said by way of explanation. "You know how she takes things to heart and how disappointed she feels when she can't fix things. I think that she realized that maybe she wasn't able to help Callie as fast and as well as she wanted to and she just got frustrated."

"That sounds like mom." Brandon said with a small smile.

"I'm willing to bet you a hundred bucks that's who she's really angry with." Sharon said.

"No deal." Brandon finally cracked a genuine smile. "That's a loosing battle."

* * *

At six Sharon headed to the kitchen to start dinner. No one had eaten much all day - more than half the pizza was sitting in the fridge and most of the sandwiches were untouched as well. She desperately wanted to get something healthy into the kids and especially Lena so she set about making some fried chicken with grilled vegetables and mashed potatoes.

Callie was back at the window seat, the only one on the first floor at the moment. Mike and Roberts had headed back to the station for a while but were both coming back for dinner and planned to stay right until Stef got home. Lena was upstairs taking a shower and Jude and the twins were upstairs doing their own thing.

"You know, before your mom met Lena she wasn't like she is now." Sharon said, keeping herself busy with dinner but talking to Callie, hoping to engage her in some conversation. "She wasn't happy with who she was or the life she was living. But once she met Lena she found her place - somewhere she felt she belonged and everything changed after that, though it did take a while. Stef was so afraid to come out though she wanted to be with Lena more than anything. They disagreed a lot until Lena finally said that she wasn't willing to have a relationship with someone who was married. It took a while but Stef finally got the guts to go after what she wanted and accept that she deserved happiness too."

Sharon had a point to this story - she wanted to show Callie that it was okay to need some time to adjust to something new. She understood that it wasn't easy for Callie to accept something that was kept from her for so long and that even someone as strong and independent and confident as Stef had struggled to become who she is now.

Sharon quickly glanced at the girl and noticed that for the first time she actually looked up to listen to what Sharon was telling her. Sharon decided that she'd give it one more try and after turning over the pieces of chicken in the pan she headed towards Callie and sat down beside the girl.

"It's okay to not know how to any of this." She said softly to Callie. "It's okay to make mistakes and to be cautious. You'll get it eventually. Just like Stef did. One day this will all be behind you and you'll come out shining and you'll have an entire family there to help you pull through."

Callie gave Sharon a small smile before focusing on the crack in her iPhone screen again. Luckily for her the screen had just one crack in it but the phone still worked. All day Callie had been trying to call Stef but just like with everyone else the phone was constantly off. But Sharon caught the smile and taking a chance she wrapped an arm around the teen and pulled her close, giving her one tight squeeze before going back to her chicken.

What neither of them knew was that Lena was standing on the stairs, listening to every word.


	8. Chapter 8

The talk with Sharon had made Callie relax quite a bit and while the family was having a late dinner, talking quietly, she fell asleep at the window seat. Lena wished she could get the girl to eat something but in all honesty she was too focused on Stef to really fight with Callie nor did she want to rock the boat with her. Though Lena hated that they were letting her dictate their actions with her behavior, she just wanted Stef around when it got too tough.

During dinner Roberts got one more call from the bank to say that Stef had made a transaction about two hours away and the relief on everyones faces was evident - Stef really was coming home and she was almost here.

The family finished dinner and Lena insisted the kids go upstairs and shower and get ready for bed so that they would be done by the time Stef got home. With four sweaty, dirty kids to shower it would take at least that long for them to finish up.

While the kids were upstairs the four adults headed to the living room where Lena gave them all a glass of iced tea. She had offered beer or wine but Mike had turned her down for obvious reasons and Roberts and Sharon declined as well - neither wanting to drink at a time like this.

Sharon, Mike and Roberts began some light conversation, mostly about the trials of the police force and Lena quietly slipped back to the breakfast nook to check on Callie. The girl was sitting curled up leaning against the back with a cushion clutched tightly to her chest. Lena quietly headed back to the living room to grab a throw rug off the couch and brought it back to drape over her daughter. Callie's eyes flew open as Lena covered her and Lena quickly combed her fingers through the brown hair on Callie's head to try and relax her again.

"It's just me." She said soothingly. "Go back to sleep."

Lena watched as Callie's eyes darted around the room, obviously checking to see whether or not Stef had returned.

"She's not yet home." Lena said, knowing the girl wouldn't ask what she wanted to know.

The disappointment on Callie's face was clear and Lena bent down to give her a kiss on the forehead.

"We're going to be okay." Lena said as she sat down beside the girl. "You're going to be okay and you're going to have a home, nothing is ever going to change that."

Callie just looked at Lena, tears filling her eyes but she was too stubborn to let them fall.

"Everyone makes mistakes honey." Lena continued. "The twins made mistakes when they went to Ana's house, Brandon made mistakes when he got involved with Vico. So everyone makes mistakes, but the best part of being a family is that you stick together through all the mistakes. You may not do everything right but you'll always be loved and forgiven just like you'll forgive everyone else."

Lena gave Callie a moment to think about what she'd said and to say something if she wanted, though she knew that the girl would remain silent. But while Callie did remain silent she didn't look as afraid or worried as she had since she first found out that Stef hadn't come back home.

"Would you have a glass of juice?" Lena asked cautiously, hoping the girl would say yes since it seemed to be the only thing she had voluntarily. Lena realized that Callie hadn't had one single thing to eat since the yogurt the night before and it worried her a bit. She hoped they could do something to get Callie to eat before hospitalization became a necessity.

Lena practically jumped for joy when Callie gave a small nod but instead she quickly got up and poured a glass of pomegranate juice for Callie before she could change her mind. She watched as Callie drank down the glass and Lena offered to pour her another which, once again, Callie accepted. Lena realized that Callie really must be hungry and decided to try and get her to eat.

"How about some chicken?" She offered but Callie's face instantly closed up as she picked up her phone and began fidgeting on it again.

Lena sighed as she went back to the kitchen to rinse out the glass. She couldn't wait for Stef to get home so that everything could go back to normal.

* * *

Two hours later all nine of them were sprawled out in the breakfast nook and the kitchen waiting for Stef to show up. There had been no more transactions but they were pretty certain that she'd come straight home. Mike and Sharon were doing a great job of distracting the kids and keeping them occupied by telling them stories of all the mischief they themselves had gotten into as children while Roberts and Lena kept contact with the station for any word on Stef.

"The number of windows I broke with my baseball, I probably could have bought a whole house with the money my parents had to pay the neighbors." Mike said, laughing at the memory. "My mother said that I'd have to pay her back every cent."

"Did you?" Jesus asked curiously.

"No way." Mike said. "Where do you think I'd get that much money?" He laughed. "I doubt I have that much money even now."

"Did they get mad?" Jude asked, wondering what kind of punishment he got.

"Eventually." Mike said. "Our neighbor was more mad than my parents but my dad was so proud of my baseball talents that he never stopped me from practicing."

"So you never got punished?" Jude asked in wonder.

"Well, I got grounded and the neighbor never returned any of my balls so I kept having to buy new ones but nothing more than that." Mike answered.

"Cool" Jude said, his face lighting up at the though of no punishment.

"Not cool." Jesus added. "I once broke a lamp and moms made me pay every penny for it." He grumbled.

"If I recall correctly they told you not to bring the basket ball into the house a million times before you broke that lamp." Sharon said.

"And they never made him pay for the other hundred things he broke before that." Mariana added.

"That lamp was expensive." Jesus protested. "I had to give up half my allowance for almost a year to pay for it."

"And that wasn't even half the cost." Sharon said. "Trust me, I bought it for them, I know. Once your mom broke my mother's crystal bowl." She went on. "My mother wanted to just let it go but she had been told over and over again not to try and lift it because it was heavy but Stef never listened, even at four she did whatever she wanted."

"So what did you do?" Mariana asked, excited to hear that her mom got into trouble as well.

"She took away my cycle and wouldn't take me swimming all week." Came a voice from the landing outside the kitchen, surprising everyone."


	9. Chapter 9

"MOM" Jude practically yelled as he ran to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her tight.

"Hi baby." Stef said as she held him close though her eyes never left Lena, knowing that she'd be in trouble.

Stef could see the relief in Lena's eyes along with the anger and fear she had felt all day. She glanced around the room and noticed Mike, Sharon and Roberts all sitting around and instantly looked away. She had known that she would worry everyone but she was so angry and so lost that she just desperately needed some time alone to figure things out.

"Where were you?" Brandon asked as he got up to hug his mom as well.

"We were so freaked out." Jesus added, following his brother.

"You just left." Mariana said as she too went to her.

"I'm sorry." Stef finally said. "I really just needed some space." She could see that they all had something to say about it but she stopped them. "I know that's not an excuse but I really didn't want to do or say something that I would later regret." Stef said as she walked over to Lena who hadn't moved from her place on the window seat.

Stef had noticed the small smile on Callie's face when she saw Stef standing on the steps leading to the kitchen but the moment she said her last line the smile disappeared and fear filled her eyes.

"You took off Stef." Lena finally said when Stef reached her. "You just disappeared and you went to _New Mexico_."

Stef looked surprised that Lena knew where she was.

"Did you not think we'd try to find you?" Lena asked as she noticed the surprise on Stef's face. "Do you even realize what you put us all through?"

Stef looked around at all their faces, feeling guilty at putting her family through this. She could see the worry and anger on all their faces though relief at the fact that she was finally back also clear. She noticed Mike sitting, looking a little sympathetically at her and Roberts, like she had a thing or two to say about Stef's whereabouts. Then she glanced at her mother, sitting there with her arm around Jude, looking at her with disappointment and finally she glanced at her children, all relieved to see her but hurt that she just took off.

Stef closed her eyes as she tried to keep from crying before turning back to Lena. "I'm so sorry love." She said, full of emotion. "I never meant to hurt you, you know that I'll always come back."

"I do know that Stef." Lena interrupted. "I know that you'll always come back provided you _can_ come back. We had no idea what happened to you."

"It all just got too much for me and I needed some time to just be by myself and clear my head." Stef explained. There was a lot more she wanted to explain to Lena but she didn't want to do it here, in front of everyone.

"You never even called or messaged." Lena accused her. "You could have just sent me a text to say that you were okay and just needed a day."

"I know love, I'm sorry." Stef said again. "I was so angry."

Lena understood that Stef couldn't explain further, not in front of the kids so she let it go for now. "What made you go to New Mexico?" Lena asked, still unable to believe that that's where Stef was.

"I just drove." Stef said. "I got on the freeway and drove until I got too tired to drive any longer. I realized I'd gotten to Albuquerque and stopped at a motel for some sleep, grabbed some lunch at a diner and headed straight back."

"But you never called." Lena said again, so frustrated that Stef hadn't even informed her what was going on.

"I know." Was all Stef said, because there wasn't much else she could say. She'd already said sorry and would about a thousand more times in the coming weeks but for right now she just let Lena be angry - let her get it out.

There was a silence over the room for a few moments and Roberts cleared her throat until she had Stef's attention.

"That was a foolish decision Foster." Roberts said. "You had your family and the department worried about you. We pulled out every stop to trace you."

"I know Captain, I apologize." Stef said. "I appreciate the lengths you went through to make sure I was okay."

"I'd like to see you in my office at eleven tomorrow morning." Roberts said before turning to Lena. "I'll be heading home now. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

"Thank you." Lena said. "And thank you for all your help." She went to hug the woman her wife looked up to.

"My pleasure." Roberts said before saying goodbye to Sharon, Mike and the kids and heading out.

"I'll head home too." Mike said. He had a lot to say to Stef but he knew it could wait until tomorrow. Right now she needed to fix things with her family.

Once again Stef, Lena and Sharon thanked Mike for his help and he gave Brandon a quick hug before heading out the door leaving the family alone.

Sharon took this as her opportunity to hug her daughter. Lena watched as Sharon held Stef tight and realized for the first time just how scared Sharon must have been as well though she's been nothing but strong for the family. Lena's gaze drifted to Stef and for the first time she noticed just how tired and worn she looked. She had been driving for almost twenty hours straight and it was almost midnight now - Stef had been gone for twenty-seven hours. Lena felt tears well up at the thought that Stef felt she had to leave instead of coming to her and talking things out. She knew she was partly to blame but still, Stef had no right to put her through this.

"Alright guys, it's late and you've got school tomorrow." Lena said, turning her attention to the four kids sitting at the table. "Mom's home now and you need to head to bed." She could see that the children wanted to protest but she raised a hand to stop them. "We'll all talk about this tomorrow after school but for now, bed time."

Reluctantly the kids climbed the stairs with Sharon in tow. She was going to have Brandon's room while Brandon slept in a sleeping bag in the boy's room.

* * *

Once the kids were gone Stef glanced at the one child still sitting silently, her gaze on her hands. She then looked back at Lena for some information on Callie.

"She's sat there all day." Lena whispered. "She hasn't eaten a thing or said a word. She did have two glasses of juice though."

Once again Stef glanced sadly at the teenager. Something was very wrong and Stef wished there was something she could do to help her - that was why she'd left in the first place. Just like Sharon though, Stef was most angry with herself for not being able to help Callie. Not once had she though that they'd made a mistake taking Callie in or trying to adopt her but she began to doubt her own abilities as a mother to the girl - could she be all that Callie needed her to be? The drive had helped clear Stef's mind and while she hadn't come to any constructive conclusions she knew that Callie was already right where she belonged.

Stef finally pulled Lena in for a hug. She felt the woman tense slightly but then relax into the embrace as she finally let the tears she'd been holding back fall. Stef held Lena as she cried into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry love." She whispered again. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Lena said desperately, hoping Stef would understand that that's exactly why she'd been so worried.

Stef kissed Lena then, so passionately and so fiercely - desperate to do more - to reach out and touch her, feel her, and hating the fact that their daughter was still sitting right behind them. Stef continued to kiss Lena until she finally stopped crying. She was just on the border of inappropriate when she finally pulled away.

Both women knew that they needed to talk but first Stef had to deal with Callie - she hadn't had a thing to eat all day and Stef needed to do something about that.

"I'll see you upstairs." Lena said as she kissed Stef one more time, glanced at Callie and then headed upstairs leaving Stef and Callie alone to stare at each other.


	10. Chapter 10

Stef and Callie just stayed silent for an entire minute, looking at each other before Stef walked over to the girl. She reached out to pull Callie up for a hug but the moment Stef made contact Callie jumped up yelling in anger.

"YOU LEFT!" Callie yelled. "YOU LEFT EVERYONE AND YOU LEFT ME BUT YOU PROMISED YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME, YOU'D ALWAYS COME BACK BUT YOU JUST TOOK OFF AND YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE AND YOU LEFT ME." Callie continued yelling at the top of her voice, her face going red with anger as tears poured down her face.

Lena, Sharon and the other kids heard Callie yelling and they all rushed down the stairs as Lena tried to go to Callie to stop her, worried that she'd anger Stef again.

"Callie, stop." Lena said but Stef stopped her by stretching an arm out in front of Lena, holding her back, her eyes never leaving Callie, allowing the girl to get it all out.

"YOU SAID YOU WERE DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE AND THAT IN THIS HOUSE I'D ALWAYS BE SAFE BUT YOU LIED BECAUSE YOU PROMISED YOU'D ALWAYS COME BACK BUT YOU JUST LEFT AND YOU DIDN'T COME BACK." Callie continued as her body shook in anger.

Stef just waited and when Callie said her last line she raised an eyebrow slightly, wondering when the girl would realize that she did, in fact, come back just like she promised.

And just like Stef, Callie also realized that fact. The anger in her face disappeared slowly as a look of surprise and wonder filled it instead - she was shocked that Stef had come back, just like she'd said she always would.

"You came back." Callie said in a whisper so soft that it was barely heard, but the room was completely silent and everyone was completely focused on Callie so everyone heard.

Stef once again took a cautious step towards Callie and when Callie didn't flinch or move away she closed the distance and gave the girl the hug she'd been waiting for for the last ten minutes.

"You came back." Callie said again, though her arms remained by her side, not hugging the older woman back.

"I did." Stef said. "I came back and I always will." She continued to hold Callie until she felt the teens arms slowly circle her waist and hold on in a tight grip. Stef also tightened her hold on Callie until she stopped crying.

Sharon, in the mean time, ushered the kids back upstairs so Stef could deal with Callie without an audience. Lena waited only a few moments more, making sure that Stef didn't need any help, before she too headed upstairs, once again leaving Stef and Callie alone.

Once Callie had completely calmed down Stef loosened her grip on the girl and placed both hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look up. "I left." Stef said. "I got angry, I needed some space and I left. But I came back, I was always gonna come back and you need to remember that. I may get mad, I may yell or punish you, I may need some space, but I will never stop loving you, I will never leave you and I will never let anything bad ever happen to you. What I need from you is to believe that, believe me."

Callie just looked at Stef without giving her any response - she was having a hard time believing what was happening. All the things that were happening to her had never happened before and she was having a hard time grasping it all. She was used to people leaving her - not coming back, people hurting her - not loving her, people easy to keep at arms length - not people she desperately wanted to hold close and she wasn't sure how to just become this new person that they wanted her to be - one that trusted and loved and stuck around.

Stef could see the struggle in Callie's eyes as she leaned forward to kiss Callie on the forehead, not letting go of her face. She knew that it wouldn't be easy for Callie to just start trusting but she was determined to keep proving to her that she kept her word - eventually Callie would have to believe it, wouldn't she?

"Let's get some dinner." Stef said softly, her voice kind but firm, telling Callie that is wasn't a choice. Stef finally let go of the girl and walked over to the fridge, her back turned to Callie for the first time but she was pretty certain that Callie wouldn't try to bolt. Something about the fact that Stef had come back had struck Callie and Stef could see it.

Stef pulled out the left over fried chicken and the vegetables and put some on two plates. She put one in the microwave and as it headed she turned her attention back to Callie who hadn't moved. Stef poured two glasses of grape juice and then went to switch out the plates before walking over to Callie to guide her to the table.

"Okay, let's just get this over with." Stef said as she set both plates down and took a seat right next to Callie. Stef speared a baby corn and a green bean on her fork and took a bite before glancing at Callie, who hadn't even lifted her fork yet.

"Come on love." Stef encouraged as she wrapped an arm around Callie and held her. She felt Callie tense under the contact but she didn't let go. Instead she leaned closer to Callie so she could whisper into her ear. "You can do this, I know you can." Stef said as she picked up Callie's fork and speared a carrot before handing it to Callie. "Take a bite, you'll feel better."

Stef saw a tear slide down Callie's cheek and she kissed it to wipe it away before raising the fork to Callie's lips, hoping the girl would take the bite. Thankfully Callie did as a few more tears spilled down her cheeks. Stef felt so relieved as Callie took another bite and then a third. She kept a close eye on the girl, wounding if she was too afraid to do anything but what Stef asked. While Stef was thrilled that Callie was eating something she also didn't want Callie to do it just because she was afraid, that was just trading one problem in for another. But Stef didn't say anything about it - Callie was eating and that was the most important, everything else could wait.

Stef fed Callie more than half the chicken and almost all the vegetables before she set the fork down and began picking at her own plate. She hoped Callie would eat on her own but even if she didn't she was satisfied with the amount she had eaten.

"You know, I didn't leave because I was angry with you." Stef said, not looking at Callie, but down at her own plate instead. "I wasn't even mad at Lena, though it probably looked like I was."

Stef could sense more than see Callie turn to look at her and only then did she look back, making eye contact with the girl. "I was mad at me." She finally said.

"Why?" Callie asked softly. She hadn't expected that at all.

"Because I couldn't help you." Stef said. "I didn't know what to do to make things better for you and that frustrated me more than anything."

Callie looked away again, not sure what to say. She picked up her fork and used it to separate all the vegetables on her plate - carrots in one pile, green beans in a second, bell peppers in a third, corn in another and asparagus in a final pile.

"Callie what can I do?" Stef finally asked, once all Callie's piles were made. "Tell me what you need me to do to help you."

But Callie didn't know what to say. Even she didn't know what she needed. The thought she needed to just be left alone - allowed to eat when she wanted and what she wanted and the quantity she wanted but somehow she didn't think that was the answer Stef was looking for.

"You have to eat, that isn't an option." Stef said, sensing Callie's thoughts. "We've tried making you things you like, things that are easy on the stomach, junk food, we've tried it all but you still push it all away, you push us away. Why?" Stef asked, hoping the girl would give her some sort of an answer. "Did we do something? Or _not_ do something?" Stef continued to asked when Callie remained silent.

Stef watched Callie in silence for a few minutes before continuing. "Can you look at me honey." She said and then waited until Callie finally turned her head to look up at Stef. "Are you afraid of something?" Stef asked. "Are you afraid of us?"

Slowly Callie shook her head.

"Then what?" Stef asked.

"I don't know." Callie said. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you baby." Stef said as she wrapped her arm around Callie again. "There's nothing wrong with you, you just got handing a lousy deal."

"I don't know why I don't eat." Callie said. "It just makes me feel stronger."

"Stronger?" Stef asked. "How?"

Callie shrugged again, unsure of how to explain it. "I can control it I guess."

"Not eating?" Stef asked.

Callie nodded. "It's something no one else can control, if I don't want to eat then no one can force me. You could force me not to hurt myself and you can force me to stay and not run but this is something only I can control." She admitted.

"And how does that help?" Stef asked.

"I don't know." Callie answered.

"Are you hungry?" Stef asked.

"Not now." Callie answered.

"Were you hungry all day?" Stef asked again.

Callie nodded again.

"Then how did it help?" Stef asked. "Yes it worries Lena and it worries me but the only person that really being hurt is you. It's like you're cutting your nose to spite your face. It's not helping you at all. It may be getting the reaction you want from us but in the long run, you're the one that's suffering."

Callie remained silent, there was nothing she could say to argue Stef's point. She was loosing control and the only way she knew how to keep it was self-destructive and it really wasn't helping her any.

"How about we head to bed." Stef suggested, sensing that Callie had had all she could handle for one day. "It's really late, or rather really early. We'll sleep in and I'll take you to school at ten thirty before I have to head in to work okay."

Callie nodded as she got up to leave the kitchen but Stef caught her arm and pulled her back. "I love you sweetheart." She said as she kissed Callie before letting her go.


	11. Chapter 11

Stef washed out their plates and glasses and put the left overs back into the fridge before heading upstairs. She first went to the girls' room to check on Callie and found her putting her pajamas on. Stef waited for Callie to get done and then tucked her into bed before sitting down next to her and brushing her hair off her forehead.

"Are you okay love?" Stef asked softly.

Callie nodded.

"Are you sure?" Stef clarified, wanting Callie to tell her if she wasn't.

Once again Callie nodded silently.

"We're just a room away." Stef reminded her with a small smile.

"I know." Callie whispered.

"Okay good. Good night, I love you." She said, kissing the end of Callie's nose before leaving.

* * *

When Stef walked into her own room she expected to find Lena asleep or at least in bed, reading but when she found the room empty she sighed and headed to the bathroom. There, she found Lena in the shower stall, water pouring down her body, one hand holding the wall for support and the other holding her head as she cried. Stef opened the door and turned off the shower before wrapping a large towel around Lena and pulling her out of the stall.

"Honey." She said she she pulled Lena into a hug, not caring that her own clothes were getting soaked.

When Lena finally stopped crying and pulled away Stef studied her face.

"It's two thirty in the morning honey, you have work in the morning." Stef reminded her gently.

"You can't just take off on them like that Stef." Lena said, ignoring Stef's comment.

"I'm sorry love." Stef said.

"They've already been abandoned before, it's not fair to them." Lena reminded her.

"I was always coming back Lena." Stef said. "They need to learn that - we're always coming back."

"It's a hard lesson to learn." Lena said, wiping her eyes.

Stef couldn't bear to see Lena crying so she leaned in and kissed Lena and was relieved when Lena leaned in and kissed her back. The two stood like that for a good ten minutes just kissing and holding each other until Stef felt goosebumps on Lena's back and arms.

"Let's get you dressed." Stef said as she pulled away from Lena.

The two of them quickly changed into pajamas and crawled into bed and Lena instantly curled up to Stef's side while Stef just held her. Both were too tired to do anything further but just being in each other's arms was enough.

They were just drifting to sleep when they heard their doorknob turn and Callie poke her head in.

"Come on in love." Stef said warming.

Lena was about to move away to make room for Callie but Stef went with her, she wanted to be in the middle tonight, holding both her girls. Callie crawled into Stef's side of the bed and bring her face in Stef's neck and was immediately wrapped up in Stef's arm and when Callie casually draped an arm across Stef's stomach Lena held on to it.

Soon they feel the girl shaking slightly, indicating that she was crying.

"What's wrong love?" Stef asked her as she tried to move Callie enough so she could see her face.

"I made both of you leave." Callie said miserably. "Both of you have left because of me."

"But both of us came back." Stef said. "Honey, we get mad or sad or whatever but we're always coming back."

"But no one else ever sent you two away." Callie mumbled. "That's just me - it's always my fault."

"Honey, no one has struggled the way you have." Lena said gently. "No one has been through all the things that you've been through and it's not been that hard for them to adjust. We understand that it's not easy for you. But we're just human too, sometimes we need ways to just let it all out. We left because we didn't want to take it out on you - but we never left you."

"I don't want to be like this." Callie said miserably. "I just want to be normal." She sounded so tired and both moms knew that she was trying.

"We know love." Stef said, holding Callie close. "We want that too and we're working on it. You'll get there. It's not that hard."

"It feels hard." Callie whined. "It sounds so easy to say 'just eat' but sometimes it feels as difficult as if someone says 'fly'. I can't do it, it's so hard. It sounds like I'm just being stubborn but I'm not." She was crying again but neither mom knew what to do.

"We'll figure something out." Lena said, stroking Callie's arm as Stef pulled her closer still so that her head was on her chest.

"You know how I said it was because I was losing control?" Callie asked, looking up at Stef and Stef nodded. "I'm losing control of this too." She admitted. "At first it was just to make you mad but then it became something more. I need to be stronger to take control of it."

Stef thought for a moment, wondering how she could help. "Honey, I don't want to scare you and I want you to remember that if it does come to that you won't be alone but if you go on like this then we're going to have to hospitalize you." Stef said. "You need the nutrients somehow and if that's the only way you get them then we'll have no choice. We are trying our best to go around that but I want you to know that it's a possibility and it seems to be getting closer."

Both moms felt Callie stiffen as she listened to Stef and both of them held on to her a little tighter.

"We're gonna be with you through it." Lena said again. "You will not be left there alone, we'll bring you back when it's over."

"We aren't there yet." Stef said, not wanting to upset the girl further. "We've still got a little time to work it out ourselves and we're all going to try really hard to do that. Even when it's hard, even when we're mad we're gonna push through."

"Did you eat dinner?" Lena asked softly, wondering how far they really were from hospitalization.

Callie nodded but Stef verbalized the answer.

"She ate more than half a piece of chicken and quite a few of the vegetables." Stef told Lena.

Lena felt herself relax. "That's a start right?" She said encouragingly.

"It is." Stef agreed, smiling down and Callie and receiving a small smile in return. "And it's also way past your bed time and I think we all could use some sleep." She said as she pulled the blankets up around them tighter, kissing each one on the head and watching as both of them closed their eyes. Soon both Lena and Callie were asleep but Stef couldn't stop thinking about Callie and though she was absolutely exhausted she kept trying to figure out a way to help her.


	12. Chapter 12

Two nights of no sleep and just a few hours at the motel had exhausted Stef out and so when she finally fell asleep after four in the morning she didn't wake up when the alarm went off. Lena quietly got out of bed and went for a quick shower since she had just showered the night before and when she got out she found Callie awake and just watching Stef sleep.

"You okay baby?" Lena asked softly as she gave Callie a kiss.

Callie nodded and then looked back at Stef, as though studying her face while she slept.

"I bet she'd love a snuggle." Lena suggested, realizing that it's what Callie wanted.

"She's sleeping." Callie whispered. "I don't want to wake her. She said I could stay with her till she had to go to work and she'd drop me to school at ten thirty." She said and Lena raised an eyebrow. "Please." Callie said, realizing that Lena probably wasn't too happy with the plan.

"Alright." Lena said after a minute and then glanced at Stef, she could see the dark circles and the worn out look on her face and she too decided that maybe Callie shouldn't wake her.

"Help me get breakfast on the table please." Lena said to Callie, hoping to engage the girl in some activity.

"Okay." Callie said as she quietly climbed out of bed and followed Lena out the door, leaving Stef sleeping peacefully.

* * *

Callie helped Lena make hash browns and sausages and as the two stood side by side at the stove Callie began to speak.

"I'm sorry." Callie said, not looking up from the sausages she was frying. "For all this trouble."

"I'm sorry too." Lena said, surprising Callie - that's not the response she expected. "I should have spent some time with you yesterday, I basically left you alone all day."

"I don't blame you." Callie said. "I was mad at me too."

"That's no reason to just leave my daughter alone all day." Lena said. "But I was more worried than angry." She admitted.

"Me too." Callie whispered. "I thought she'd never come back."

"Sweetheart, she will always come back." Lena said, turning Callie's face to look at her. "Neither of us is going anywhere, no matter how hard you push us."

"Everyone has a breaking point." Callie mumbled miserably. "I know you don't like it when I say this but I'm not your daughter, if one of you left or even if something ever happened to one of you, I'll be the first one to go."

"Callie, _if_ something were to happen to one of us then the other one will still keep all five of you, no exceptions. You are our children and you don't just give away your children because your partner is no longer around. Neither of us could live without the five of you." Lena said firmly. "And even if something were to happen to both of us, you still have grandparents and siblings and even Mike. You will never be alone again baby, you will always have a family now. Nothing can ever change that."

"My parents used to say that they'd never leave me." Callie told Lena as she turned to put the sausages on a plate. "So did a few foster parents over the years. I always believed them.

"Honey, you know as well as I do that we can't make those kinds of promises." Lena said as she put the bowl of hash browns on the table. "We can't promise that we'll never die or that life will always be easy. When we say we'll always come back we mean we'll always choose to come back, we will never voluntarily leave you or send you away. Your mom meant it in that way too, if she could have come back to you she would have."

"I know, but it still hurts." Callie admitted. "I believed it with two foster parents also but one ended up having a baby of her own and the other one wanted to adopt a baby, not an eight year old and twelve year old. I kinda stopped trusting after that."

"And we are trying to change that." Lena smiled. "We're working on the trust thing. It's like you said, so far both of us have left at some point but both of us came back, we have a pretty good record."

"You have the best record." Callie smiled back. "You two are the only ones who really loved us and did everything to help us."

"It's what moms do." Lena said. "And we are your moms, legally or not, we're your moms."

"I guess every kid drives their moms crazy right?" Callie smirked teasingly.

Lena laughed but before she could respond two sets of feet came thumping down the stairs.

* * *

"Where's mom?" Marina asked worriedly when she looked around the room and found Stef missing again.

"She's sleeping honey." Lena told her daughter and youngest son, who's face showed equal worry. She then glanced at Callie and found the smile had disappeared and was replaced with sadness. "She's really tired so we're letting her sleep in today. We're all going to have family day after school."

"Family day?" Jude asked curiously as the other two boys made their way downstairs.

"We'll talk and catch up and have a game night." Lena said. "Maybe even a movie."

"Ya and we get to yell at mom for taking off." Jesus said, still a little annoyed at Stef.

"Can you imagine her reaction if one of us had done that?" Brandon added.

"I can just see the fumed coming out of her head." Jesus said. "We'd never see the light of day again."

"Alright." Lena said, trying to stop her kids.

"Don't tell us we can't be mad." Jesus defended. "We were scared too."

"You can be mad." Lena said. "We will talk about it and you are all going to tell mom exactly what you feel but you have to remember that she is still your mother and you can't be rude to her. We all make mistakes, even moms."

"How come that line doesn't work for us?" Mariana said. "We always get into trouble if we do something wrong."

"Who said mom's not in trouble?" Lena smiled at her daughter.

The rest of breakfast went by easily with only Callie remaining silent though she did take a hash brown and two sausages on her own and ate them. Lena was so proud of her and held her hand under the table just like Stef usually did.

"Where's grandma?" Lena asked the kids.

"Showering." Brandon answered. "She let us shower first so we could get to school."

"I hope she waited for the hot water to fill up." Lena said, looking pointedly at Mariana.

"She did." Jesus laughed. "And she asked me to book her a flight back this evening."

"She's leaving already?" Lena asked surprised. Sharon usually stayed a couple of days when she came.

"I guess." Jesus answered with a shrug.

"Aren't you coming to school?" Jude asked Callie when he noticed her still in her pajamas.

"Mom is going to drop Callie off at school a little later." Lena told him.

"Is she in trouble?" Jude asked worriedly looking between Lena and Callie.

"No." Lena assured him as well as Callie. "They just need some time to talk."

"Oh." Jude said. He accepted the answer though he didn't seem too convinced.

* * *

After breakfast Lena got the kids out the door with a little difficulty. They wanted to check on Stef but Lena refused saying that she needed the sleep and she'd be there when they got home from school. Stef was only going to meet Roberts at eleven but wasn't staying for her shift - everyone knew that she was too exhausted to focus today.

Sharon did the cleaning up while Callie went to shower. The girl hadn't said a word since Sharon had come downstairs and she wondered how things had gone. After finishing the dishes and wiping down the table Sharon went to check on Stef who was still fast asleep. She then went to the girl's room to check on Callie and found her sitting on her bed looking at a picture.

"Everything okay sweetheart?" Sharon asked as she went to sit by the girl and glance at the picture. "That's one of my favorite pictures." She said as she took the photograph from Callie's had to look at it. Stef and Lena were in the middle on their wedding day surrounded by their five children and all of them looked so happy.

"I know we weren't adopted yet but it was the first time I ever felt like I actually belonged somewhere." Callie said. "They wanted to adopt us and they included us in such an important day."

"They still want to adopt you." Sharon said, glad that the girl was talking.

"I know." Callie said. "It scared me at first and it still does sometimes because I know that bad things happen often, but now I also can't wait for it to happen. Then I can finally be an Adams Foster."

"Honey, you already are an Adams Foster." Sharon handed the picture back. "You may not have their name but you have their heart."

"i'm trying." Callie said, as if trying to justify her worth. "I'm trying to change, to be better."

"I know you are honey." Sharon assured her. "We all know that and we're all here for you, it's okay if it takes a while."

"Are you mad at me?" Callie asked looking at Sharon to read her expression. "Stef and Lena always tell me that I'm their daughter and they'd do just about anything to anyone who hurt me. I hurt your daughter, are you mad?"

"You didn't hurt my daughter." Sharon said. "And you're my granddaughter, so you're just as important. Stef is a tough one, she can take care of herself. It's okay to be mad sometimes and to make someone else mad sometimes. It happens in every family, there's nothing different in this one."

"Did you ever leave?" Callie asked. "Because she made you mad." So far everyone had told her not to worry about it but she couldn't stop thinking about the fact that no one else had ever made their parents actually leave in anger.

"No." Sharon answered honestly. "But there were times I conceded sending her off to boarding school." She tried to tease, hoping that Callie wouldn't feel too upset. "She wasn't the easiest kid to raise, she was so stubborn and strong willed, it drove me crazy sometimes."

Callie remained silent as she looked back at the picture, obviously still upset that it was just her that had made her moms leave.

"But I have been mad at her and I have yelled at her and made her cry and she's been mad at me and yelled at me and made me cry too." Sharon continued. "But the love was always there, just like it's here. That doesn't ever change."

"That's what mom said." Callie said, looking at Sharon with watery eyes. "That they can be mad and punish me and need some space but they never stop loving me."

"She was stubborn and strong willed but she was also smart." Sharon smiled. "And she's absolutely right."

Callie gave her a small smile back before looking away and noticed Stef standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame watching her mother and daughter.


	13. Chapter 13

"Oh good, you're up." Sharon said as she got off the bed. "Let me go heat you up some hash browns and sausages." She offered, wanting to leave the mother and daughter alone.

"Thanks mom." Stef said as she gave her mother a hug. She knew that her mom was another person she'd need to have a conversation with about her disappearance but for now it could wait, Callie was more important.

"You sleep okay love?" Stef asked her daughter when her mother was gone. Normally she would have known if Callie tossed and turned but last night, or rather, early this morning, she was so tired that she could have slept through a fireworks display.

"Yeah." Callie answered. "You?" She added with a cheeky smile.

"Like a rock." Stef said smiling back. "And it helped that I had two of my best girls to snuggle with."

Callie gave Stef a shy smile causing Stef to grab hold of her arm and pull her up of the bed to give her a hug. "I love you so much Callie." She said. "If there's just one thing I want you to believe, it's that."

"I do believe it." Callie shrugged. "You show me all the time."

Stef would have cried had it not been for Sharon, yelling up the stairs. "BREAKFAST." She said causing both Stef and Callie to laugh as Stef took Callie's hand and they headed down to the kitchen.

* * *

Just before entering the kitchen Callie stopped, pulling Stef with her.

"I already ate." She said softly when Stef turned to look at her. "I did." She continued when her mother never said anything. "I ate a hash brown and two sausages."

"Okay." Stef said, deciding to trust her daughter and hoping that Callie wasn't just trying to trick her.

Callie finally relaxed and the two made their way into the kitchen. There were two plates laid out on the table and once again Callie tensed thinking that one of them was for her. She wanted to cry because Sharon had seen her eat but Sharon obviously caught the look.

"It's mine. I waited to eat with your mom." Sharon told her granddaughter and watched as Callie released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"Callie already had breakfast." Stef said, hoping it sounded like a comment and not a question.

"That she did." Sharon confirmed and Stef felt herself relax as well. Callie promised she'd try and she really was putting in the effort.

"I guess it's just you and me then." Stef told her mom as she sat down at one of the plates and dug in.

* * *

After breakfast Sharon once again did the few dishes while she sent Stef up to shower. It was already past nine and they had to leave by ten fifteen so that Stef could get Callie to school before heading in to the station. Sharon would make lunch while she waited for Stef to return and then the two of them would have lunch together and talk until Lena brought the children home at three. Then Sharon was going to go for a walk while Stef, Lena and the kids talked. The whole family would have dinner together and then Stef and maybe one of the kids would drive Sharon to the airport for her nine o'clock flight.

Stef quickly showered and dried off and headed into her room for some clothes when she found Callie sitting on her bed smiling at something on her phone.

"What're you smiling about?" Stef asked as she tightened her robe around her and walked over to her daughter.

"Mama sent me this." Callie said, holding up the phone for Stef to see.

But Stef didn't see the message, instead she only noticed the crack running from the top of the screen almost to the bottom. "What happened to your phone?" Stef asked as she took it from Callie to examine it.

"It broke." Callie said, making it sound more like a question rather than an explanation.

"I can see that." Stef commented, looking back at her daughter. "How?"

"I got mad yesterday and I threw it." Callie said softly as she looked down at her hands, avoiding eye contact with her mother.

Stef could tell that Callie felt bad for what she'd done but she was more concerned about why Callie was that angry in the first place. She took at deep, calming breath and then sat down in front of her daughter and, with a hand under her chin, she made Callie look up at her.

"What were you so mad about?" Stef asked, hoping that it wasn't because she'd left or that someone had said something to her about it, though she knew she'd deserve it if that was the answer.

"Grandma tried to make me eat." Callie mumbled, looking away though Stef was still holding her face up.

Stef felt herself relax a little though she didn't let go of Callie's face.

"I was scared." Callie whispered with a catch in her voice. "I was so scared that you weren't coming back and I just didn't want to do anything besides sit and wait for you."

"I was wrong to take off like that Callie, I'm sorry." Stef said, surprising Callie. She expected Stef to be upset that she hadn't eaten and more that she'd broken the phone. She hadn't expected Stef to apologize.

"I didn't realize how much of an impact it would have on all of you." Stef continued.

"You aren't mad at me?" Callie asked curiously.

"No baby." Stef said. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"I broke the phone because I was mad." Callie explained.

"And I took off because I was mad." Stef rebutted. "Both of us forgot to stop and think about what we were doing huh?" She asked, hoping that Callie wouldn't feel so bad.

"I guess." Callie said. "But mine did more damage." She mumbled.

"Oh honey, you have no idea how wrong you are." Stef said, finally letting go of Callie's face. "I did much more damage than you did."

"How?" Callie asked.

"I left you kids and even though I had absolutely every intention of coming back, I still left four kids who had already been left numerous times before and I left even more people to worry about me." Stef explained. "That wasn't right and I really wish I could take it back."

"I never thought about it like that." Callie said, realizing for the first time that apart from being worried about Stef the other kids were probably just as afraid that she'd left them as she was.

"Neither did I obviously." Stef said regretfully. "I guess we both gotta work on our anger issues huh?" She asked getting a small smile from Callie.

"I guess." Callie said sheepishly before leaning forward to hug Stef.

"Let's just say it's a fresh start for both of us from now on." Stef suggested as she held out her hand for Callie to take and smiled when Callie took it and held on tight. "Now what did you want to show me?" Stef asked, remembering that this conversation started with something that Lena had sent Callie.

"Mama sent me this text." Callie said as she unlocked the phone to the message.

Stef looked down and smiled too as she read the words - _I love you baby, now and forever_.

"We both do." Stef said handing the phone back to her daughter but then pulling it back. "I guess we need to get you a new phone too." She said as she traced her thumb over the crack.

"It's fine." Callie reached for it again. "It still works and the scratch guard is holding it together."

"No." Stef stopped her. "It's time you had your own phone. Fresh start right?"


	14. Chapter 14

Two hours later Stef was sitting in front of Captain Roberts nervously. She wasn't an impulsive person but she knew that her disappearance wasn't something to just brush off lightly. In the police force you couldn't just make such rash decisions without consequences, and her whole department had been keeping an eye out for her and tracking her which only made it worse.

"This isn't like you Stef." Captain Roberts began. "What's going on."

Stef sighed as she thought about how to explain. She hadn't even had this talk with Lena yet but there hadn't been any time so far - Callie had joined them in bed last night and then this morning Lena had to go to work. She knew she needed to explain but she didn't want it to come across as not wanting Callie so she was buying a little time to find the right words.

"It's Callie." Stef finally said, thinking that if she spoke to Roberts first it would be a little easier to talk to Lena and maybe talking to Roberts could help her figure things out a bit better.

"Are you having second thoughts about her?" Roberts asked, jumping right to the point.

"NO." Stef said firmly, knowing that this was exactly what everyone would think. "Not at all." She paused for a moment trying to figure out what to say. "I'm just worried that I won't be enough for her. That _we_ won't be what she needs to really get better."

Captain Roberts sat silently as Stef collected her thoughts. She knew that just because they were all cops didn't mean that they didn't have issues that they had to deal with. Her job was to just make sure that their issues didn't interfere with their work.

"She's having such a hard time and we thought we had it under control but it just seems to be shifting from one thing to the next." Stef went on. "We put a stop to the cutting but then it became an eating problem. She just refuses to eat and we have to actually battle with her for every single meal. She's seeing a therapist but so far it hasn't done much good. Once I even caught her trying to throw up and I'm just so worried that she'll keep getting worse and we won't be able to do anything about it. Our last resort is to hospitalize her for some nourishment and maybe even rehab for a while but she's so afraid that we'll abandon her that I really don't think that will help her much either and no matter how many times we tell her that we love her and that she's ours for good she just doesn't seem to get it - she thinks we're lying and I'm running out of ways to show her. I just feel so lost, I don't know how to help her." By now Stef had tears in her eyes. She no longer even realized where she was because her mind was completely on her daughter.

Captain Roberts waited a while even after Stef had stopped talking, until Stef was able to focus on her again. "How about getting her involved in something?" She suggested.

"She's already taking guitar lessons and she's doing a photography course at the school." Stef said. "Apart from that she has group and individual therapy and with her lack of eating she just doesn't have the energy to do much else."

"How about something that involves someone else." Captain Roberts explained. "A community service like we give some of the teens who are beginning to get into drugs and theft." There had been so many young people that had been caught getting into trouble but still not too far gone and instead of sending them to juvie they were sent to the community center where they were given tasks to help them see that they were worth something and that they didn't have it as bad as they thought. "She'd make a great big sister at the children's home." Roberts continued.

"She's spent her whole life taking care of Jude and now she finally gets to just be a kid, I want her to hold on to that. I don't want her to be responsible for someone else. It's taken us so long to help her loosen her hold on her brother and allow us to take care of them." Stef said miserably.

"Maybe that's exactly the problem." Roberts said. She was able to see the situation from a distance and realized that maybe what Stef wanted wasn't possible. "She's not a kid, not the way you want her to be. Maybe having someone else to focus on will help her get through just like it did all those years. And it will give her a chance to see just how much she has and along with that she will be helping some other little kid and this time she don't have to suffer while doing it."

Stef thought about what her captain had said. She made a lot of sense when she thought about it. Callie kept saying that she felt like she was losing control, maybe giving some back to her would help and like Robert's had pointed out, this would be different from before, now Callie wouldn't be putting herself in danger to help someone else. She'd have to discuss it with Lena first and maybe the therapist too and look into some options before bringing it up to Callie and making a final decision but really, it didn't seem like such a bad idea.

"It makes sense." Stef finally said. "I'll have to talk with Lena but I think it might work."

"It's just a suggestion." The captain said. "I know you've been having a lot of trouble with her lately, two weeks ago you took an entire week off work to help her, but give it some time - she's had over six years of troubles that aren't going to go away in just a month."

"Thank you captain." Stef said gratefully. She was so relieved that this wasn't going to affect her job and she knew that she wouldn't be making any impulsive decisions again in a hurry.

"No problem." Roberts said. "Now go on home and get some sleep, you look like hell."

"Geez thanks." Stef grinned as she got up and left.

* * *

When Stef opened her front door the only thing she could focus on was the smell coming from the kitchen - she instantly recognized it as her mother's chicken noodle casserole - her comfort food growing up. Even before entering the kitchen she knew that there'd be potato and cheddar soup and apple fritters as well. Stef suddenly felt so relaxed and all her troubles were forgotten for a moment as she entered the kitchen and took a deep whiff.

"Oh good, you're home." Sharon said as she pulled the casserole out of the oven. "Lunch is just ready."

"This smells delicious mom." Stef said gratefully as Sharon filled two bowls of soup.

"I thought this might help." Sharon said, handing one bowl to Stef and sitting down at the table opposite her.

"It really does." Stef said as the last of the stress left her shoulders and she took a bite. "You have no idea."

"Honey are you okay?" Sharon asked seriously, as she watched her daughter carefully.

"Yes mom, I'm fine." Stef answered, though she knew her mother wouldn't just leave it there. They were just the same in that way.

"It's okay if you're not you know." Sharon said. "Everything can't be perfect all the time and just because you admit that things are falling apart doesn't mean you don't love your children." Sharon meant Callie but she didn't want to mention her specifically but instead wanted Stef to let go of whatever she was holding in so deeply that was causing her to worry so much.

Stef sighed as she let the spoon drop back into the bowl and looked at her mother. "I feel like we are in over our heads." She finally admitted. But before her mother continued she quickly added. "Before you get the wrong idea let me make it clear that I do not have second thoughts about Callie nor am I angry with her or sending her anywhere, I just feel helpless when it comes to helping her."

"No mother always knows how to help her children." Sharon offered kindly. "God knows I didn't know how to help you when you began to show signs that you were gay."

"That's different." Stef said. "Callie's actually hurting herself and there's nothing we do that makes any difference."

"Honey, no parent wants to see their child hurting in any way." Sharon said firmly. "No matter what the pain is, it's still painful for a parent to watch. You're no different from the rest of us."

"But that doesn't help Callie does it?" Stef asked miserably. "Just because I'm like every other mother out there doesn't make a difference when it comes to helping my daughter."

"Honey, it's not easy but you just gotta stick it out and eventually you'll find something that works." Sharon offered. "It's not always easy but you just have to keep going for the sake of that little girl." Sharon said.

Stef smiled. "Weren't you the one that asked me if we had really thought things through?" Stef teased.

"Yes, well, I was looking out for my daughter just like you were looking out for yours." Sharon smiled.

"You were right though." Stef said seriously. "No about rethinking the adoption but about not knowing much about them. We're still learning so much and the more we learn the more we find ourselves lost." Stef said.

"You were right too honey." Sharon said. "Those two kids belong in this family and I couldn't be more proud to call them my grandchildren."

Stef smiled at her mom. "Thanks mom." Stef said feeling a little better at the support. "Thanks for everything."

The two began to eat in silence for a while until Stef broke it again just as they were finishing up their noodles.

"I'm sorry I worried you and dragged you all the way out here mom." Stef said. "I was so angry that I didn't even think about anyone else."

"Well if it was twenty five years ago I would have grounded you for life." Sharon teased, but then added in a more serious tone. "Honey, you'd do the same for your kids if you had to. In fact I think you'd do a whole lot more." Sharon admitted.

"You're a great mom, mom." Stef said, shaking her head. "You were always there for me."

"Not when you needed me the most." Sharon said regretfully. "When your father got so angry when he realized you might be gay I did nothing to really stop him. I should have stopped him. You may not have really understood what you were feeling but we could see and I could see what he was doing to you but I never stopped it."

"It's not your fault mom." Stef assured her. "It's not easy being different, I get that."

"I'm just so thankful for Lena." Sharon went on. "You became alive after meeting her, you became everything I ever wanted you to be."

Stef smiled and looked down at her plate as tears filled her eyes. She knew her mother loved her and her family unconditionally but to hear it was a whole other thing.

"One day you will look at Callie and think the same thing about her." Sharon promised. "One day this will all be behind you." She said the same words she had said to her granddaughter the day before.

"I really hope so." Stef said full of emotion, both from her mother's words and the hope that one day it will be her and Callie having this same conversation.


	15. Chapter 15

The two talked for another couple of hours and then Stef went to get some sleep before Lena and the kids got home. She was still pretty tired from the long drive and lack of sleep and it was beginning to take a toll on her and when Sharon came to check on her a little while later she was fast asleep.

* * *

"Hey, where's Stef?" Lena asked two hours later as she led the kids into the house. The car ride hope had been silent at first until it was filled with anger towards Stef, initiated by Jesus and vehemently supported by Mariana and Brandon. The only two who remained silent through the entire ride had been Callie and Jude and while Lena could guess Callie's thoughts she was really curious to know what Jude was thinking. He had never lashed out at his sister the way he had yesterday and she wondered if his silence meant that he was on her side or not.

"She's asleep." Sharon told her daughter-in-law as she put down her magazine and went to hug her grandchildren. "But she wants you to wake her up when you got home." She added.

"Okay thanks." Lena said before turning to her children. "Guys, why don't you go to the kitchen with grandma for a snack while I talk to mom for a while and then we'll all come down and talk together okay."

The kids weren't happy about having to wait longer to see their mom and while four of them verbalized it, the fifth just remained silent like she had been almost all day.

Sharon decided to help things along. "How about we run to the bakery down the street and pick up some of those little pies that everyone loves?" She asked enthusiastically. Not only would that keep the kids busy for a while but she would also get to spend some time alone with her grandchildren, something she loved more than anything.

"Can I have the caramel apple?" Jude asked, his eyes immediately lighting up. Those pies had been one of the first things that they had treated him with when the two came to live in this house and ever since then it had become one of his favorites - whether it was the actual taste or just the gesture, no one knew.

"You can have whatever flavor you want." Sharon said. "And we'll bring back two for your mom's as well, what do you think?"

"Oh that sounds delicious." Lena smiled, giving her permission as well as silently thanking Sharon for the time.

"Yeah." Jude said smiling and soon Brandon and Mariana were just as excited while Callie was completely expressionless. Surprisingly Jesus wasn't swayed by the idea of the special treat and that worried Lena a little.

"Okay, let's go." Sharon said and soon all the kids were heading out the door again. They wouldn't be long but still it would give Stef and Lena at least a half hour to talk by themselves.

* * *

"Hey babe." Lena said as she sat down next to Stef and leaned down to kiss her awake.

"You're home." Stef mumbled sleepily.

"I am." Lena said. "Your mom took the kids to the bakery for some pies. We're alone for a bit." Lena said.

Stef sat up and looked at Lena, trying to figure out what she was thinking. "I know I've said it already but I'm really sorry for what I did." Stef said.

"What happened Stef?" Lena asked, wanting Stef to open up to her instead of holding it all in.

"It just got too much." Stef answered. "I got angry and I got scared and I just felt so helpless."

"I know you feel like I didn't support you but that's not what I was trying to do." Lena said. "I'm sorry if that's how you felt."

"That's not it." Stef stopped her. "I thought it was at first but as I was driving I realized that I wasn't mad at you or Callie. I was just frustrated with myself."

"There's a surprise." Lena said sarcastically and then smiled at her wife.

"What if we're not enough Lena?" Stef asked seriously, unable to put her worry aside to laugh. "I won't ever send her away but what if we can't help her?"

"Then we try something different." Lena said. "We keep trying until we find something that does work."

"That's what everyone keeps saying but the problem is she keeps getting worse in the mean time." Stef argued.

"We get her help." Lena said. "We look into rehab and do what we have to."

"She'll think we abandoned her." Stef said as tears filled her eyes at the though. "You really think she'll get better if she thinks she's just been left?"

"We show her that we're sticking around." Lena said. "We visit her every chance we get and we keep telling her that we aren't going anywhere. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but we're the parents and sometimes we have to do something we don't like if it's in their best interest."

"It sounds so simple when you put it like that but I really have my doubts." Stef admitted. "Callie doesn't trust easily and these places don't just let you visit whenever you want."

"No, but we will visit every time they let us." Lena said. "Eventually Callie will see it and she will believe it and in the mean time the people there know how to handle her and help her through."

"There's something I want to try first." Stef said. "Captain Roberts suggested it actually."

"What?" Lena asked, a little worried about what the captain of a police force would suggest.

"She suggested community service." Stef said.

"Like street clean up?" Lena asked confused.

"No, the big sister program at the children's home." Stef explained. "What she said was right, Callie isn't a kid, she's seen too much of the world to be the kind of kid we want her to be. Maybe if she helps someone who has less than her she'll realize that her life isn't like it used to be."

"She's spent her whole life doing that." Lena said and Stef smiled. That was her thought exactly and she liked that the two of them practically thought the same.

"That's what I said." Stef told her. "But this time she won't be giving up anything to do it. She won't be protecting anyone or sacrificing anything for anyone, just helping and it may take her mind off her own difficulties."

"It's definitely a better idea than rehab." Lena said. "I think we should try it."

"Are you sure?" Stef asked. "It may take longer."

"It's definitely worth a try." Lena said.

"Okay, I'll look into it and find something." Stef said. "Then we'll put it to Callie."

The two were silent for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts until Stef pulled them out of it.

"How are the kids?" She asked, she had hardly spent any time with them since she got back and she knew that they'd have questions and opinions.

"They're okay." Lena said.

"Really?" Stef asked, knowing that Lena was playing it down.

"They're angry." Lena admitted. "But they're glad you're back."

"I can't believe I did this to them." Stef said with a sigh. "What the hell was I thinking?" She asked, more of herself than Lena.

"Look, you're back now and that's what matters." Lena tried to justify.

"But the damage is already done." Stef said miserably.

"Honey, it's like Callie said, you got mad and you left but you came back and if nothing else it teaches our kids that no matter what, we're always coming back." Lena said, hoping Stef wouldn't feel so bad. She had been upset and angry when she was gone for so long but now she was beginning to understand why and if nothing else then she wanted to use this as a lesson for the kids.

"The kids aren't going to see it that way." Stef said.

"Give them time." Lena suggested. "They're upset right now but they'll be okay, hey have a safe place to let their anger out."

Stef smiled at the words, it reminded her of the time soon after the twins came to live with them and Lena had used the same sentence then.

_"But I want to watch Toy Story." Brandon whined as Stef put in the Lion King._

_"It's Jesus' choice tonight." Stef explained for the tenth time._

_The twins had been living with them for two weeks now and the novelty of 'live-in' friends was wearing off for Brandon as he was beginning to realize that along with the fun stuff he also had to share his mom's, his toys and the choice of what movie to watch for movie night, among other things._

_"But I always get to pick." Brandon continued in an annoying cranky voice. The nine year old liked to think himself grown up but sometimes life just wasn't fair at all._

_"You picked last week remember?" Stef said. "This time it's Jesus' turn and then Mariana's and then it'll be your turn again."_

_"But that's not fair." Brandon whined again. "The Lion King is for babies."_

_"We can watch Toy Story." Jesus said softly from the couch where he and Mariana were curled up together. "I don't mind." He didn't want to upset his new foster mothers, the first ones that actually seemed to like them._

_"We are watching the Lion King and that's final." Stef said in a warning tone, glaring at her son. "You may stay and watch or you may go up to your room and skip movie night, but those are your only choices."_

_Usually that tone of voice would have caused Brandon to do as he was told but he was just fed up of having to constantly share with not one, but two new kids that didn't ever leave. Instead he picked up the remote that was on the coffee table and flung it towards Stef and the TV before storming up the stairs._

_"What was that about?" Lena asked as she came into the living room with two large bowls of popcorn. She had heard the commotion and came to check it out._

_"I think Brandon's learning that it's not so easy to share." Stef said. While she definitely didn't condone her son's behavior she could understand his anger - for the last nine years he had been an only child and had three parents that focused solely on him but now suddenly there were two new kids that, in all honesty, was getting most of the attention and Brandon was behaving like any child would._

_"Why don't we start the movie for the twins and then go talk to him." Lena suggested._

_Stef nodded as she continued to set up the movie while Lena turned to the empty couch. "Where are they?" She asked._

_"They were right here." Stef said, turning around the room in search of the two children. "They must be hiding."_

_"I'll check upstairs." Lena said as she headed upstairs while Stef checked the downstairs._

_"Stef." Lena called from the top of the stairs when she found a foot peeking out of Jesus's closet._

_The two of them carefully walked over to the closet and moved some of the clothes aside to find the two children huddled together. Mariana was crying silently and they both looked terrified._

_"There you are." Lena said softly with a smile as she reached for them. "We were wondering where you went."_

_Neither child wanted to climb out of the safety of the closet but they knew better than to disobey so they reluctantly crawled out and sat on the bed that Lena guided them to._

_"You know you two aren't in trouble right?" Stef asked. "You did nothing wrong."_

_"Brandon?" Jesus asked softly, worried about what would happen to the boy who actually did do something wrong."_

_"He will be in a little trouble." Stef explained. "But nothing bad will happen to him."_

_"He'll get punished?" Jesus asked._

_"He'll get grounded." Stef explained. "He won't get hit and he won't get sent away." She knew these were the things that the children were most afraid of._

_"Honey, Brandon got angry today and he did something that he shouldn't have but it's okay to get angry sometimes." Lena explained. "It's okay to be sad or hurt or scared or angry. There's nothing wrong with that. We all feel those things sometimes. We would never hurt any of you for feeling like that. This is a safe place, even to be angry."_

_Stef watched as Jesus nodded and released his hold on Mariana's hand to hug Lena._

_"We may get angry sometimes too but you'll always be safe." Lena continued as she hugged Jesus back. "Even Brandon never hurt anyone with his anger, he just threw something. That's not right but still, no one got hurt. And just like you you have to remember that if you ever get angry it's okay, but you can't hurt anyone either because they need to feel just as safe."_

_Jesus nodded into Lena's neck but didn't release his hold on her._

_"How about that movie now huh?" Stef suggested, hoping to change the mood back._

_"Yes." Jesus said with a smile as he finally released Lena and jumped off the bed and dashed out the door._

_Though Mariana stayed absolutely silent, like she often did, she did take Stef's outstretched hand and went with her back to the living room to watch the movie with Jesus while the mom's went to talk to Brandon._


	16. Chapter 16

"First I want to say that I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry that I frightened you guys and worried you." Stef began.

Both moms and all the kids were in the living room and Sharon had gone for a walk to give them some space and pick up some burgers for dinner.

"There's no excuse and it's okay for you to be angry and get mad at me." She said as she looked each child in the face but they all stayed silent as they stared back at her.

"Mom never meant to hurt any of us." Lena added. "She needed some space and while she could have just told us that and where she was going, it really helped her figure some things out."

"So why'd you leave?" Mariana asked. "Like really because it can't just be because Callie doesn't eat." She said slightly bitterly.

"Okay first of all I want everyone to be absolutely certain that this is not at all Callie's fault." Stef said firmly. "This was my decision and I made it, no her so it's not fair for you to blame her. Am I clear." She knew the kids were upset but she definitely didn't want them to take their anger out on Callie. Callie wasn't the one who decided to disappear for over twenty four hours without a word to anyone.

"But it was still because of her." Mariana continued. "If she would just eat then you wouldn't have left."

Lena quickly glanced at Callie and saw the girl looking down at her hands guiltily. They both knew that she blamed herself and no amount of assuring her that it wasn't her fault would make her believe it and now hearing her siblings say that only made it worse. Lena's eyes traveled to Jude who was looking angrily towards his sister before looking back to Stef who was talking.

"Mama and I had had a bad evening right from the start and I was stressed and angry." Stef explained. "It wasn't just because Callie didn't eat - it was a whole lot of stuff that just built up." Stef said. "I made a mistake in not talking to mama about it and just keeping it all inside and eventually it just exploded."

"You always tell us to stay and talk, never to walk away." Brandon said softly. All his life his mother had told him that he wasn't allowed to just walk away.

"I know." Stef said. "And I'm still going to keep saying it because it's true. I made a mistake and I've learned from it. I realized how much I worried my family and friends and I hope that you will learn from it as well."

"So what made you so mad then?" Brandon asked.

"Mama and I couldn't see eye to eye on some things and I was stressed with Callie's eating but I should have talked to mama about it." Stef explained. "I didn't want her to worry or have to deal with the fights so I kept it all in and I tried to handle it on my own."

"Were you fighting about Callie?" Jude asked, speaking for the first time, softly, as though he was afraid of the answer.

"Sort of." Stef answered honestly. "I couldn't let it go for even a minute and mama thought that Callie eating anything was better than nothing and I thought that I needed to force her to eat an actual meal."

"So it was Callie." Mariana said flatly.

"Honey, mama and I have fought over Brandon, you, Jesus and Jude so Callie is no different." Stef said firmly, determined not to let the blame lie on her daughter. "I'm the one that made a stupid decision and I'm the one to blame for it."

"You fight over us?" Jude asked, his faced creased with confusion.

"Sometimes." Stef said. "We don't always think exactly the same."

Brandon smiled a little remembering the time his mom's had finally admitted to him that sometimes they weren't on the same page.

"I've never heard you." Jude said. In all the other foster homes he had seen the parents fight a lot but in this house it had never happened and he naively believed that they didn't fight.

"Well, we try not to let it interfere with you guys." Stef explained. "We work it out and come up with a compromise before we bring it to you."

"Oh." Jude said, still looking a little puzzled but obviously trying to understand.

So far Callie and Jesus were the only two who hadn't said a word and while both moms expected Callie to stay silent, Jesus' silence was worrying them.

"What about you bud?" Stef asked, turning to her middle son who was clenching his jaw tightly. "What are you thinking?"

"You don't wanna know." Jesus said through gritted teeth.

"Yes I do." Stef assured him.

Both mom's watched as Jesus looked straight at Stef before glancing at Lena worriedly for a moment.

"It's okay." Stef said, realizing that Jesus' reluctance stemmed from Lena's relentless correction of bad language.

"I'm mad at you." Jesus finally let go. "I'm so freaking mad at you. You just walked out and left us all and whether you were coming back or not didn't make a difference for those twenty six hours. I hated you and I was so mad at you and think you're a fucking bitch for what you did."

"JESUS" Lena scolded. She knew he was mad but he had also warned them over and over again that bad language was not acceptable and neither was being rude to his mother.

But Stef stopped her wife by reaching out to grab her hand. She also knew, very well, what Lena thought about words like that but right now it was more important for Jesus to let it all out, that's one thing she'd learned while she was away - not to hold things inside until they crush you.

"No, you don't get to be mad at me." Jesus argued with Lena. "I have a right to be angry and call her whatever I want. She hurt me, she hurt all of us." Much to everyone's surprise Jesus had a few tears slip down his cheek and he tried to wipe them away before he continued.

"I trusted you." He went on. "I trusted you from the very beginning. Brandon was always yours and Mariana took forever to trust you enough to even talk. Callie didn't even trust you enough to tell you about Jude and Jude trusted no one but Callie for ages. I'm the one that trusted you right from the start. When you told me that I was safe in this house I believed you. But you let me down because yesterday I didn't feel safe."

Stef was also crying by this time and the moment Jesus stopped his rant she got up and sat next to him, pulling him into her, she held him as he cried.

"i'm sorry baby." Stef whispered over and over again until he calmed down. "I never meant to hurt you. I know I did but it wasn't intentional and it will never happen again."

"Callie was right, you broke so many promises yesterday." Jesus said when he'd calmed down enough to talk again. "It's not her fault, it's yours."

"It is." Stef agreed. "It's completely my fault and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

"I never thought you'd leave us." Jesus mumbled.

"I didn't leave you baby." Stef said miserably. "I just took some space. I could never leave you. I couldn't survive without you."

"Why didn't you just talk to us?" Mariana asked. It didn't sound so difficult to her.

"Why didn't you tell us about Ana?" Stef asked in return. There was no judgement in her voice but she just wanted Mariana to understand by relating it to something she'd kept secret as well.

"I didn't think you'd understand." Mariana answered regretfully.

Stef smiled sadly at her daughter. "That's how I felt." She admitted.

She looked around at all the faces staring back at her and knew she had to just come clean. She owed it to all of them.

"When I couldn't help Callie and I noticed that she was getting worse I started to panic and I thought that forcing her to do what I wanted would help and when mama went against me I became angry. Not at Callie or mama but myself because I couldn't find a way to fix anything. Stef stopped for a moment to get up and move over to Callie. She sat close to the girl and held her hand but looked at all the children and Lena. "I didn't want to think that I'd reached my limit and I didn't want her anymore." Stef explained and felt Callie tense in her arms. "I needed time to sort my own thoughts out because I was terrified that if I let my feelings show then everyone would think that I didn't want her."

"But you do want her?" Jude clarified. No matter how angry he had been at Callie, he still didn't want anything bad to ever happen to her.

"Absolutely." Stef said without missing a beat. "I never ever want to send Callie away. The only thing I want to go away are her problems. I want to find some way of helping her and I will..." She stopped for a moment and looked at Lena. "..._we_ will find a way to make it all okay."

Lena smiled at her wife as tears filled her eyes. Stef had always found it difficult to let other's in and she knew it was a hard lesson for her to learn and even harder for her to admit. But she was absolutely certain that together they would be able to do anything.


	17. Chapter 17

It had been an emotional two days for the whole family and the kids had hardly eaten, but now, after having talked it all out they were feeing a lot better and their stomachs were growling so when Sharon got home with a dozen burgers and fries the family sat down to eat immediately.

As Lena and Sharon were passing out plates of burgers and fries and Stef was sticking the pies in the oven to warm up, the kids went to wash their hands for dinner. The boys especially, managed to have dirt on their hands no matter where they were and the mom's were constantly reminding them to wash up.

Callie was the last to wash her hands. She didn't want to be the center of attention at all and was more than happy to let everyone else go first. When she finally got to the bathroom she took her time washing her hands and face and then drying them before she went back out. She was surprised to find Jude waiting for her right outside the door instead of in the kitchen with the rest of the family.

"Just eat okay." Jude whispered pleadingly before running off to join the others.

Callie sighed as she followed him. She'd do it, no matter how hard it was she'd do it for him.

* * *

"God I'm starving." Jesus said as he took a plate from Sharon and began drowning his fries in ketchup. He was usually quick to anger but equally quick to forget and having let out his opinions to his mother he was feeling a whole lot better. "I could eat all twelve all by myself."

"I'll pay you ten bucks if you can eat twelve burgers in one sitting." Mariana teased.

"Deal." Jesus said with a bright smile, always up for a challenge.

"No Deal." Lena said sternly. The last time Jesus accepted a challenge like that he ended up throwing up all night after eating an entire jumbo bag of m&amp;m's.

"Come on. I could really use the cash." Jesus groaned, digging into his burger.

"How about no dare and just an extra burger for you?" Sharon suggested as she put one more on his plate. There was an extra one for him and halves for the others though Lena, Sharon, Callie and Jude probably wouldn't eat more than their own. Stef and Brandon would share a second and the last two would stay in the fridge in case anyone got hungry at night.

All three adults had been keeping an eye on Callie and noticed her taking small bites and forcing them down without looking anywhere but at her plate. It was obvious that she was trying to just get through the evening without causing any drama but she was struggling. Stef reached under the table and squeezed Callie's knee like she'd done so many times lately but this time Callie just pulled it away and continued to focus on her food.

Brandon and the twins were oblivious to what was going on but Sharon, Lena and Jude were all keeping an eye on Callie and noticed her sudden aversion to contact. Stef and Lena exchanged glances before digging into their own burgers, wondering what was going through Callie's mind.

Jesus was done with two burgers by the time the rest of the family was done with one and Stef and Brandon decided to share a second. Callie, of course, was just about half way through hers and was definitely not going to have more. Her fries, though few, were untouched but no one cared. She was eating the burger and that's all that counted.

By the time Stef was done with her second half the other kids were already rinsing out their plates and Callie was still struggling but taking bite after bite with no fuss. Stef wordlessly reached out and pulled the burger away from the girl, pulled out the patty and handed it back to Callie - the bread could be wasted if she didn't want it.

Callie looked nervously at the patty before finally picking it up and taking a bite, relieved that it was now much smaller.

* * *

Right after dinner Sharon dragged Stef and Lena to their room.

"Call me if you need any help at all." Sharon said sternly. "I'm just a flight away."

"We will mom, thanks." Stef said as she hugged her mother.

"And thank you for coming down to help us." Lena added. "You've really been a big help."

"Absolutely." Stef agreed. "I'm sorry I put you through this."

"Honey, it's what mom's do and no matter what age you are I'm still your mom." Sharon smiled as she kissed Stef on the cheek before hugging Lena.

"That's harder than it sounds." Stef said, realizing that no matter how many times you try to help your child, it's frustrating if it doesn't work.

"Just you wait until you get through." Sharon smiled fondly at her daughter. "It'll all be worth it."

* * *

Stef and Jesus drove Sharon to the airport and Sharon and Jesus kept up an easy banter all the way there. Jesus filled Sharon in on everything with everyone and Sharon seemed genuinely interested. She hadn't really had any time this trip to spend with the kids that didn't involve worrying about Stef so she was glad to get some information before she headed back.

"We're finally back in volleyball season and wrestling has really toughened up my arms." Jesus was saying proudly. "Brandon's just as annoying practicing for the band as he was practicing for the symphony. And Mariana talks about Matt all the time. Jude's the only fun one to hang out with, he plays video games with me and doesn't whine all the time." Jesus joked.

Stef noticed that Jesus didn't say a word about Callie and as she thought back she realized that apart from their night out with Mike Callie hadn't spent much time doing anything fun with the kids. The only time they were all together was meal times and that definitely wasn't a time Callie was eager to join in. She made a mental note to suggest something fun for the whole family over the weekend.

* * *

"I'm really sorry I hurt you." Stef said when she and Jesus were driving back home. "I never meant to hurt you and I'm so sorry that I put you through all that."

"I know mom, it's okay." Jesus said.

"No, it's not." Stef shook her head. "It's not okay and I know that over time everyone will forgive me for it but that doesn't make it okay either. As your mom I never intentionally want to do something that will hurt you and this was something I could definitely have avoided."

"I know, but I get it." Jesus said. "I get needed some space every once in a while. I was mad at you only because you didn't tell us where you were not because you needed the space."

"And you have every right to be." Stef told him. "I would be livid if any of you did something like that and you deserve the same privileges."

"I thought mom would kill me for saying what I did." Jesus grinned, trying to show his mom that he had already forgiven her.

"I think she wanted to kill me more." Stef teased back. "She was so angry last night as well."

"She was scared all day yesterday." Jesus admitted softly.

"I made a huge mistake." Stef mumbled regretfully as she shook her head, still surprised at herself for making such a stupid decision.

"Yeah, but you do everything for us." Jesus pointed out with a kind smile. "You're allowed one bad call."

"Thanks baby." Stef said as she reached across to stroke his cheek. He was such a loving boy, always looking out for others and she was so grateful to have him in her life.

* * *

"Why didn't you just talk to me sweetheart?" Lena asked.

It was late at night and all the kids were asleep. Stef and Lena were cuddling in bed and just discussing plans for the weekend when Lena finally asked the question.

Stef sighed as she thought about her answer. "I didn't want you to think that I had second thoughts about Callie." Stef said.

"I know you wouldn't think that." Lena said in an obvious tone.

"But I was afraid that I was thinking that." Stef admitted and then quickly added. "Not because of who she is but because of what we may not be able to give her. I just wondered if something else would be better for her and actually help her."

"You know that's not the answer." Lena said to Stef and Stef nodded. "You just have to learn to let someone help."

"I didn't want to put all that stress on you." Stef told Lena as her hand went to Lena's slightly swollen belly. "You're supposed to be taking it easy."

"And disappearing for a whole day isn't supposed to stress me out?" Lena teased but then immediately regretted it when Stef's face fell. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I know you feel bad about it and are trying to make it right. It's not fair for me to keep bringing it up."

"No, you're right." Stef stopped her. "I made a bigger mess than they already were. I really don't know what came over me."

"You are my tough cop." Lena smiled as she traced her finger right from the top of Stef's cheek down to her shoulder. "But sometimes even tough cops break down."

Stef smiled gratefully at Lena as she caught her hand and kissed it. "I love you so much Lena." Stef said, her voice filled with love.

"Then can we just forget everything for one night and just have some fun?" Lena whispered suggestively as her hand went lower and down into the neckline of Stef's t-shirt.

"I think I can manage that." Stef grinned as she leaned in to kiss her wife.

Silence followed as both women let their hand wander under clothing as they reconnected with each other.


	18. Chapter 18

The following morning both moms were in a much better mood. They had needed this time together and though they'd redressed before falling asleep in case Callie came into the room they enjoyed themselves.

"Good morning." Lena said as Stef stirred beside her.

"Good morning." Stef smiled back as she reached over to her wife's face, pushing back a few curls that had fallen.

"Sleep well?" Lena teased with a grin.

"Better than ever." Stef said as she brought her nose forward to rub against Lena's. "You?"

"Like a baby." Lena said. "And speaking of baby, this one is kicking up a storm in here." She said, patting her stomach.

Stef immediately let her hand travel down from Lena's face to her rounding stomach and Lena guided her to the spot where she would feel their daughter kick.

"I can't wait until she's here." Stef said as she stroked Lena's stomach lovingly, looking deep into her eyes. "And with any luck she'll look exactly like you."

Lena beamed. She wanted nothing more in this moment than to have Stef tell her just how much she loved her. They had been on a real roller coaster ride over the last few months, not just with Callie but with the other's too. Between Callie, Brandon's hand, Jesus going back on his meds, Mariana struggling to find out who she is and Jude, who didn't really cause any trouble, the mom's had been pretty busy. Add all that to raging hormones, tender breasts and mood swings and Lena really was having trouble figuring out which way was up sometimes. Stef had always been her rock but even she was struggling and needed someone to keep her on her feet. Luckily both women were really good at being there for each other. Over the years they had formed a pattern and one was always ready to carry the load when the other one needed a break.

"We already know she's going to be as lucky as me." Lena said. "She'll have you for a mother."

"She'll have us for mother's." Stef corrected. "I wouldn't be half the person I am if it wasn't for you."

"You don't give yourself enough credit." Lena frowned. "You were already amazing the day I met you."

"That's not really true." Stef whispered, turning slightly serious. "You made me feel things I never though was possible and I was never as happy as I have been with you."

"You know the feeling is mutual." Lena said, both a question and a statement. She hoped that Stef knew that she loved her just as much.

"I do." Stef nodded. "You tell me all the time."

"Good." Lena said, satisfied. "Don't ever forget it."

* * *

It was a rushed morning as both mom's had stayed in bed a little longer than they had planned and so breakfast had just been cereal and fruit and now Lena was rushing the kids out the door. Much to both mom's surprise Callie had eaten half a bowl of cereal without any fuss and without even being asked. They knew it was because she was afraid but they couldn't decide which was more important - on the one hand Callie was eating but on the other she was doing it because she was afraid.

Lena kept an eye on her in school and looking out one of the classroom windows during lunch to find Callie sitting alone at one of the tables, her sandwich bag in front of her but unopened. Glancing around, Lena spotted her other kids - Mariana was at the table where the dance girls usually sat, Jesus was stuffing his face in a hurry so he could get in some volleyball time and Brandon was sitting with Matt who was spending more time looking at Mariana rather than discussing their music like he was supposed to be doing. Lena glanced back to where Callie was and found the table empty. She looked around but couldn't spot the girl anywhere. She already knew that Callie's sandwich would be uneaten but she just hoped the girl was okay.

It was a Friday and the car ride back home was filled with excited chatter about the weekend, most of the kids had plans on Saturday and Lena realized that she'd be shuttling kids back and forth. Jesus had wrestling practice and needed a ride to school, Mariana was going to the movies with Matt and required a ride to the mall and Jude was invited to go swimming with Conner and his family. Brandon was spending the day with Mike since he was off from work and Callie had no plans. Stef was working so Lena decided to do something special with her daughter. She still felt a little guilty about leaving Callie alone all day the day Stef was gone and she wanted the girl to know that she was still loved, no matter how angry she made them.

"How would you like to come shopping with me tomorrow?" Lena asked Callie when the other kids ran into the house. "I need some maternity clothes and some other things and I want to get something for Stef as well so maybe you could help me choose."

"Okay." Callie said with a small smile. "Can I pick something for the baby?"

"I'm sure she'd love that." Lena smiled back. As a child her grandmother from her father's side had always baked cookies with her whenever they visited and it was a tradition she'd absolutely loved. Unfortunately, Mariana didn't share that same thrill in the kitchen and right at this point Lena didn't think that Callie would enjoy it much either and Lena didn't want her to think they were putting pressure on her with food. She'd settle for a little shopping and hopefully bond over their time spent together.

* * *

"All set for your date?" Stef teased as the pair got dressed on Saturday morning. The kids were all still asleep but Lena had spent most of last night and quite a bit of this morning talking about her day with Callie.

"I'm just worried." Lena said, giving Stef a slight push back. "I hope today goes well."

"It will." Stef tried to reassure her. "She's been pretty excited about the baby once she got over her fear of being replaced."

"I'm just glad that part's behind us." Lena said. Ever since Callie's confession and then the talk with all the kids both Stef and Lena had made sure to remind all the kids that they were loved and wanted and with that assurance all the kids had grown more excited and the fact that there were now physical signs that the baby existed made it all the more exciting.

"How boring would our lives be if there wasn't any drama?" Stef winked as she pulled out her gun from the safe and clipped it onto her belt before sitting down to wear her boots.

"I can just do without any more of that kind of drama." Lena said as she handed Stef her watch and badge.

"Lucky for you that's over." Stef said with a wink. "In a way Callie's outburst helped us understand what they were thinking and we took care of things after that."

"I just hate that they had to go through it at all." Lena said. "Especially Callie, she was the one who obviously thought it all along but she never said a word."

"Yes, that girl does have a talent for keeping things to herself, doesn't she?" Stef said, heading out the door to the kitchen. "It's another habit we really have to break her of.

"That list just keeps getting longer doesn't it." Lena said as she poured Stef a cup of coffee.

"Can you blame her?" Stef asked. "She's had such a hard life and she's only sixteen. She's been through more than most people go through in a life time."

"I wish we had gotten them right when Colleen had died." Lena said regretfully. "We could have saved them from so much pain."

"Things don't always work out that easily." Stef said, rinsing out her mug.

"I just keep wondering what the twin's lives would be like had we not gotten them so young." Lena admitted. "They weren't in the system all that long and when I look at Callie and Jude I just wonder if that's what life would have been like for Jesus and Mariana as well."

"The important thing is that we have them all now and we will do everything we possibly can to help them deal with whatever demons they have." Stef said, kissing Lena. "There's no point in thinking about the 'what if's', all we can do is work on the 'from now on'.

Lena smiled in acceptance as she waved to Stef from the door before heading upstairs to wake Jude so he would be ready by the time Conner and his parents showed up. Lena was about to enter quietly so that Jesus wouldn't be disturbed when she heard her son's voices from inside. The conversation instantly made her heart clench.


	19. Chapter 19

"But I hate her." Jude said to Jesus. He was already dressed and wearing his socks and shoes as he spoke.

Jesus had woken up when Jude went to brush his teeth and noticed Jude frowning as he packed his swim bag. He had asked the younger boy what the trouble was and Jude finally opened up enough to tell him how he felt about Callie.

"We're finally in a good home, one that actually wants both of us and treats us better than we ever hoped and she has to go and ruin it." Jude was saying as she tried to tie his laces again for the third time but couldn't concentrate. "She ruins everything, she always has and I'm done because if she get's herself kicking out then I'm not going with her. I'm already adopted so this time I'm safe."

Lena could hear the entire conversation through the door and was about to intervene when her older son's words stopped her.

"You know, sometimes other people don't understand what you're going through." Jesus tried to explain as best he could. "Before I knew I had ADHD everyone kept telling me to just calm down and focus, but it's not as easy as that though it doesn't sound so tough. It was bigger than me and I needed help with it."

"But there's nothing wrong with Callie." Jude protested. "She's fine, she used to eat, she's just acting stupid now. I just don't get why."

"I don't know." Jesus answered honestly. "I don't get it either but maybe she does."

Jesus had been angry as well but now that he'd talked to his mom he's gotten over his anger and and was more logical about the whole thing now. He knew that Callie was having a difficult time though he couldn't quite understand it, he knew that she needed support, no matter how irrational it seemed.

"It's kinda weird but all these years we've lived in houses where we've had to be so careful not to eat too much but in this house it's the opposite. I never thought anyone could love us for real like Stef and Lena do and sometimes I don't understand why but I try all the time to keep it that way - not get into trouble, but Callie seems to keep doing everything just to make them angry." Suddenly Jude stopped trying to tie his shoe and looked at Jesus with a worried expression. "Do you think she wants to get sent away?"

"I don't know what she's thinking." Jesus answered honestly. "Mariana and I had trouble at first too, she was so scared all the time and didn't trust them at all at first but I did. Sometimes I got scared too but when they told me that I wasn't going to be in trouble I believed them, I don't know why but I just did, I can't explain it. Maybe you are like me and Callie is like Mariana. They just need some time."

"But she's giving them a reason to be mad." Jude said, still unable to understand why. He could understand being afraid and not trusting but he couldn't understand purposely making them mad. "Other foster homes were bad, they would hit us and they wouldn't feed us sometimes and even though we got blamed when we were sent away it wasn't really our fault, but not this one. If she gets sent away it will really be her fault this time. If that does happen I won't go with her. I love her and I want her to stay but I want this more and I'm not going to let her ruin it for me."

* * *

Lena was almost in tears as she listened to Jude. So many things he'd said made her want to sit down and talk to him immediately starting with assuring him yet again that Callie wasn't going anywhere. She understood his confusion because she herself couldn't understand why Callie was pushing them away. It made sense that she was afraid that she'd lose it all but she was openly telling them that she trusted them and believed them but still she kept pushing them away.

Eventually Lena walked into the room and found Jude still sitting on his bed, finally tying his shoes and Jesus was laying in his own bed, ready to fall back asleep the moment Jude left.

"Ready buddy?" Lena asked as she went to give each one a kiss. "I've made breakfast and you need to come down and eat before they get here."

"You're not supposed to eat before swimming." Jude grumbled, eager to get a start to his day.

"In that case maybe we should postpone swimming." Lena said with a grin, knowing that Jude would never go for that.

"No, I'll eat." Jude quickly said, just as Lena expected.

"Alright then, let's get downstairs." She kissed the boy on the head and watched him rush out the door and then sat down on the edge of Jesus' bed. "You are an amazing brother." She told him and Jesus instantly understood that Lena had heard their conversation. "I'm so proud of you. Right from the time you were a little boy you protected your sister and you're doing it still with Jude."

"He's my little brother." Jesus shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Thank you for giving Callie a chance." Lena added. "I know it hasn't been easy on anyone and everyone seems to be losing their temper with her, I'm proud of you for giving her a chance."

"She protected Jude all their lives, someone needs to look out for her." Jesus said matter-of-factly.

Tears filled Lena's eyes instantly as she bend down to leave a lingering kiss on her son's forehead. The pregnancy had made her more emotional than ever but her son made her heart swell.

* * *

A couple of hours later Lena and Callie were strolling down the isles at the maternity and baby store. Lena had driven the twins to their destinations and Mike had come to pick Brandon up and now finally the two could start their 'date' as Stef put it, though Lena had to admit that she was excited. She wanted to do whatever she could to help her daughter though and she hoped this time together would help Callie feel like she belonged.

"Don't tell anyone but I haven't been able to button my jeans for over a week." Lena whispered as she and Callie walked down the isle.

Callie giggled and her eyes immediately travelled down to her mother's stomach. Her tops were always longer than the waist of her jeans but suddenly she realized that Lena no longer tucked the front into her jeans like she used to. She now understood why.

Lena picked up a flowy green top with tiny white flowers and held it up against herself and modeled for Callie. "How does this look?" She asked her daughter.

"It's pretty." Callie said timidly.

"And expensive." Lena said, checking the price tag. "No one told me that babies were so expensive." She teased her daughter as she tossed the top into the cart that Callie was pushing.

So far they had picked out three tops and two dresses and now they were heading down to the pants section. Lena picked up a pair of pants with a wide, stretchy waist and crinkled her nose at it. "These are ugly." She said, holding them up with two fingers as though they were going to bite her.

"They're all like that." Callie said, rummaging through the shelves.

"But it say's I can wear them through the second trimester." Lena said, suddenly perking up. "Apparently they grow with the baby."

Callie was silent for a moment and though Lena noticed, she kept herself focused on the pants, hoping that Callie would say whatever she was thinking on her own.

"Can you feel her?" Callie asked softly, not looking Lena in the eye. It was the very first time she had actually said anything about the baby directly though they had caught her looking at the pictures of the ultra sound that were up on the fridge more than once.

"I can a lot of the time." Lena said. "And sometimes she kicks so hard that if you put your hand just right, you'll feel it too."

"Is she kicking now?" Callie asked, now looking at Lena, completely curious.

Lena could tell that Callie really wanted to know if Lena would let her feel the baby but Callie would never ask that directly and Lena smiled to herself as she answered. "Not right now but just wait until after lunch, she'll suddenly get her energy back."

"What does it feel like?" Callie asked, looking at Lena's stomach as though she'd be able to see the baby through her belly.

"Most times it's like a flutter but sometimes it's hard and can hurt." Lena said. "It will get more uncomfortable as she grows and there's less space in there."

"She's starting to grow fingers." Callie said. It was clear that she was referring to the latest ultrasound where the baby's had was clearly visible.

"She is." Lena said. "She also responds to sounds."

"What does that mean?" Callie asked as they made their way down the isles picking clothes.

"I feel her move whenever Stef talks." Lena explained. "Especially if Stef's been gone for a while. She also reacts differently depending on what I eat."

Callie looked at her curiously. She was so intrigued by what she was learning that she forgot to be shy and closed off.

"Just like you kids, she gets hyper if I have too much sugar and she gets sleepy if I eat anything heavy." Lena explained. "If she's active right before it's time for me to eat then I'm usually in the mood for something sweet but if she's asleep then I prefer savory foods."

"The baby can do all that already?" Callie asked surprised.

"She can." Lena grinned. "And she also let's me know perfectly clearly when I eat something she doesn't like."

Callie smiled a genuine smile and made Lena want to reach out and hug her but she held back afraid that the gesture would cause the girl to close up again.

The two talked on as they moved from the clothes section to other things that Lena would need through the months and then finally they got to the isles that actually carried baby items. Both girls immediately started pulling out dresses and skirts and tops for the baby and holding them up for the other to see. It was far too early to start buying any of these items but they were enjoying themselves and creating outfits with matching shoes and laughing away until Callie pulled out a little ones that said 'I'm Mom's Favorite' and instantly Callie's face closed up. She tried to put the little outfit back without Lena noticing but Lena had read the words and silently cursed the fact that their fun was over. It was obviously time to move on from there and do something for just the two of them.


	20. Chapter 20

"I think we have everything we need for now, how about we check out?" Lena suggested, hoping to take Callie away from the clothes and hopefully away from this thought as well.

Callie nodded and followed Lena silently to the check out counter. She had closed off completely and Lena wanted to get her out of there as soon as possible.

Lena waited until the cashier scanned in all the items and then felt a twinge in her gut as she handed over her card to pay almost a thousand dollars for her purchases. With five, soon to be six kids, spending a thousand dollars on clothes for just herself really made her feel guilty but she didn't really have a choice. Maternity clothes were expensive and and it was only going to get worse as the months wore on.

As they loaded their bags into the car Lena thought about what to do next. She had planned to suggest lunch since she needed to eat before she became nauseous but she didn't think now was the right time with Callie's mood change.

"How about a pedicure?" Lena finally suggested in what she hoped was an upbeat tone. "I could do with a foot massage, they've been hurting a lot."

Once again Callie's only response was a nod as she buckled herself into her seat.

Lena sighed as she drove to their favorite spa that they hadn't visited in over a year. She really hated that things had changed so quickly all because of a silly onesie. They had been having such a good time and Callie was finally opening up and asking questions. Agreed, she wasn't making them personal by including her own needs and desires but still she was voicing her thoughts and getting involved and that was also a big step in Lena's opinion.

Callie sat silently as Lena drove them to the spa. She'd never been there but Mariana had told her about all the times Lena had taken her when she was younger. The pair would get their hair and nails done and occasionally spring for a facial and makeover and on very rare occasions they'd convinced Stef go join them and the three girls would have a blast while Mike or Frank would do something with the boys. Callie had to admit, at least to herself that she was excited to do this with Lena. These were the little things that she'd missed out on growing up and they really made her feel like part of the family. She just wished that things weren't so 'up in the air' for her still. She was excited about the baby and she was really eager to learn more about the things Lena was telling her but she couldn't help but feel just a little bit jealous. This baby had everything from the moment it was conceived - more than enough people to love her, people who would do absolutely anything for her, parents that would put her before everything else and grandparents and siblings that would dote on her from the moment she was born. But what did she have she thought to herself - a very small ledge in a family where anything could tip her either way. She knew her moms loved her and loved her just as much as this new little baby but things could always go wrong. Callie had learned that the hard way and those three words on that little pink outfit just proved it to her all the more - that baby would always have a family and after sixteen years Callie was still struggling with getting one.

Callie was drawn out of her thoughts by Lena when they reached the spa.

"Ready?" Lena asked and Callie gave her a quick nod as she climbed out of the car. Lena grabbed her hand and held it tight as the pair walked into the large lobby to have a look at their selection. Lena tried hard to engage Callie in the excitement but Callie only responded with nods or single word answers.

"Seaweed wrap." Lena said. "That sounds interesting, it says here it has salts in the seaweed that exfoliates the skin. What do you think?"

"It's fine." Callie mumbled though Lena noticed her reading through the list.

"Or how about this Almond Oil massage?" Lena went on. "Or a Sandalwood Soak? It's great for the skin and smells wonderful."

She waited for a response and continued when she got none. "What looks good baby?" Lena asked gently as she tucked Callie's hair behind her ear. "What would you like?"

"I don't need anything." Callie said. "My feet don't hurt."

"You may not need it but you deserve it and I deserve to do this with my daughter so we're going to pick a foot massage and we're going to enjoy it." Lena said in a joking manner but with some firmness to her tone.

"Fine." Callie sighed. "I'll just get the basic one." She said though her eyes stayed on the page describing the Sandalwood Soak.

Lena smiled to herself. Callie obviously wanted this or else she would never have given in so easily. Though Callie was being stubborn and holding back when she clearly wanted to just let go Lena couldn't help but love her attitude - it reminded her so much of Stef.

"Two Sandalwood Soaks." Lena said to the receptionist who asked them to have a seat for a few minutes and enjoy a glass of cucumber water.

Lena poured them each a glass and noticed Callie staring at her as she handed one over. "What?" She asked.

"Nothing." Callie said looking away and taking a sip from her glass. The cool water was refreshing and she instantly felt better.

"You may not always want us to know what you're thinking and I'm sorry to disappoint you but we are learning all about you and we're doing it fast." Lena said as she too took a sip from her glass.

Callie looked at her questioningly, waiting for her to explain what she was talking about.

"You may not have asked for it but I know the Sandalwood pedicure sounded the best to you." Lena said and Callie's eyes grew wide. "We love you Callie and it's important to us to know even the smallest things about you. We want to do things for you that make you happy but at the same time we have to do the things that need to be done to keep you healthy and safe even if you don't like it."

Luckily for Callie the conversation came to an end when an East Asian woman asked them to follow her. They were lead into a room that had a row of recliners with mini tubs in front of each, soft music playing in the background and a bottle of flavored water beside each chair. Lena and Callie looked around and noticed that no one else was there so the whole room was just for the two of them. They took seats at the far end of the room and waited as the tubs filled with warm water and their masseurs got everything ready.

"Soak your feet in here for fifteen minutes and then we'll be in to start." One of them said as she poured a capful of oil into each of the tubs filling the room with the amazing smell of sandalwood while the other one handed each of them a warm wet towel to wipe their hands and faces.

Both of them felt themselves relax as their feet soaked in the water and their bodies sunk into the soft leather of the chairs. Callie couldn't believe she was actually doing something like this. Less than a year ago she probably wouldn't have known what a spa was and now here she was sitting with one of the people she loved most in the world doing something that normal people did regularly.

"I love you baby." Lena said, breaking the silence as she reached for Callie's hand and to her surprise Callie took it and held on as well.

"I know." Callie said. "I love you too." She smiled shyly and if there wasn't so much space between them Lena would have pulled Callie closer for a hug.

"What are you thinking honey?" Lena asked, hoping that since the girl was opening up she's be willing to talk a little. "Talk to me, let me in."

They were silent for a few minutes as Lena waited patiently, hoping that Callie would gain the courage to open up.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't belong." Callie finally said.

"Honey, I love you so much and you definitely do belong. You are just as important to us as any of the others and I've said it before but I'll say it again, this baby doesn't change that." Lena said firmly, giving Callie's hand a squeeze.

"I know." Callie said with a sigh. "I get that and I believe it too but I just want to be a part of this family and I know you say I already am but I mean legally and I can't help but feel angry because I want it more than anything in the world but there's something in the way at every step. This baby isn't even born yet but still her place is already set and waiting for her."

"Honey, your place is set and waiting for you too." Lena said. "It's almost the same. We will do everything in our power to keep you safe and with us just like we are doing for her. I get that it's not easy but no one is giving up and you can't either. Each one of you have come to us from different places and this baby will be no different. It will be just like how mom treats all of you the same as she treats Brandon."

"But Brandon was already there." Callie said, trying to explain. "Mom took us in even though she already had a son of her own. You had all of us but still you needed something more."

"I did need something more." Lena agreed. "But it's not what you're thinking. I didn't need another child or my own child. What I needed was the experience of being pregnant, having a baby and going through the whole process of raising that child. It's a biological need with most women when they reach a certain age and haven't had children yet. It's your body's way of telling you that time is running out. One day you will understand because you will reach a point where you crave for a baby as well. Your body will ache for one. It doesn't seem so intense when you're younger and most women have a baby before they reach that stage but it's there and it will be in you one day. But it doesn't make me love you any less or make you any less important and it definitely won't make this baby my favorite." She said, finally bringing up the word that had started this whole thing in the first place. "At the end of the day I am everyone's mom and I love each and every one of you. Where you came from and how you got here isn't important.


	21. Chapter 21

As Lena was paying for their pedicures an hour later Callie noticed something she usually only did when she was nauseous - she was sipping on a bottle of water and gently rubbing her belly.

"Do you want lunch?" Callie asked as the two headed to the car.

Lena stopped in her tracks and just stared at Callie, unsure of what to say making Callie laugh.

"You usually just sip on water when you're nauseous and you're usually nauseous when you're hungry." Callie said frankly. "It's one thirty now so do you want some lunch?"

"Yes please." Lena said, still a little shocked that Callie had suggested food. Today had been a really unique day for Callie and even though there had been a setback, she seemed to be making extreme progress.

"How about we go to the Salad Bar?" Callie suggested, knowing it was one of Lena's favorite places that served unlimited soups and salads for a reasonable price.

"I'd like that." Lena smiled as she finally continued walking to the car, still a little shocked at what had just happened.

They got to the restaurant and the server gave them the list of soups and salads that they were offering that day. The two browsed the menu for a few minutes before Lena settled on the corn and jalapeño soup while Callie picked the lentil soup.

"I'll be right back." Callie said as she got up to head towards the restroom.

"Are you okay?" Lena asked quickly, before the girl could get away. She was a little worried about Callie and didn't want the girl out of her sight.

"Just going to the restroom." Callie smiled. "I'll be right back."

Lena nodded though she still felt a little worried. She hoped that Callie really was okay - she'd had a mild meltdown and then suggested and ordered lunch all on her own. Lena quickly sent a text to Stef telling her what was going on. She wanted Stef's opinion as well as Stef to be ready incase Lena needed her help.

Callie got back to the table just as Lena had finished texting and the server brought their soups. The two began eating in silence for a few minutes - Lena taking bite after bite quite quickly but Callie, at a much slower pace. When Lena's phone buzzed signaling she had a message she looked down at smiled at Stef's reply telling her not to look a gift horse in the mouth but if she was still worried and found anything more odd then they'd talk to her in the evening.

"You're smiling." Callie said, watching Lena as she read the message.

"Mom texted me." Lena said. The love for her wife clearly heard in her words.

Just then Callie's phone also buzzed and when she looked down she smiled as well. "She texted me too." She said happily, showing Lena the text that read _Remember, I love you._

Lena smiled and looked up at Callie as she handed the phone back. "We both do." She said.

The two continued to eat for a few minutes and then Callie began to talk again.

"You're different from any couple I've ever met before." Callie said.

"What do you mean?" Lena asked, looking up from her bowl.

"I've never met people who actually love each other the way you two do." Callie said. "Even when you fight or are mad at each other you still love each other and it's not just regular love but it's in all the little things you do for each other."

Lena raised her eyebrow slightly, silently questioning the girl further as she finished the last of her soup.

"You wash mom's favorite t-shirt even when you don't really have a full load just because you know she likes to wear it to bed, you make sure to get her favorite dip even though it's only available at the other end of town and you give her her space even when she's in the wrong and mad at you for something she's responsible for." Callie explained. "And she pretends to be absolutely fine after work because she knows you'll worry if she seems too tired or her body aches, she sometimes grabs an extra pillow from the closet when she comes home late from work because you cuddle up to her's and she doesn't want to wake you to get it."

Lena felt her heart swell as she listened to her daughter, realizing for the first time all these little things that both of them took for granted.

"I've never seen that before." Callie said again, with a shrug like it was no big deal.

"We do love each other." Lena said, dabbing her eyes with her table napkin. "And we do these things because we love each other. Getting mad at each other or fighting doesn't change that."

Callie nodded as she finally finished her soup as well. Then the two of them got up to the buffet to make their sandwiches. Lena watched, impressed at the reasonable amount of fillings Callie put into her sandwich and then the two of them headed back to the table.

Lena was lost in her thoughts for a while, wondering how to word what she wanted to say to Callie without upsetting her or misinterpreting her actions.

"You know honey, it works the same for you." She finally said.

"What does?" Callie asked, wondering what her mother was talking about.

"We love you even when we fight or are mad at you." Lena explained.

"I know." Callie said matter-of-factly before taking a small bite of her sandwich. "You guys tell me that all the time."

When Lena saw how easily Callie had responded she decided to just go with her gut and take the plunge.

"Why are you eating?" Lena asked causing Callie to look up at her with worry across her face.

"It's lunch." Callie said cautiously, wondering what the right answer to such a question was.

"Don't get me wrong." Lena stopped her. "I'm thrilled that you've been eating and you've really been doing a great job though I know it's been hard for you, and I'm not in any way, telling you to stop but I want you to know that we love you even when you don't eat and you worry us and we have to practically force feed you. You don't have to be afraid."

Callie looked down at her sandwich for a long time as though it was giving her an answer. "I'm not afraid." She finally said. "I was when Stef left and sometimes before that when you guys got mad but I haven't been since she came back. I guess I finally realized that what you keep telling me is true and I wanted to do something back for you. I do still find it hard sometimes but then I think about all the things that you guys have done for me and I feel that I can definitely do something this small for you."

Lena just stared at her daughter, amazed at how much she'd seemed to have changed in just a few days. She seemed a lot more relaxed and open and she wondered if it all really was due to Stef leaving in anger but then coming right back. It was probably something no one had ever done in the young girl's life and now she had no reason but to believe what they told her.

"I do it for Jude too." Callie went on. "I don't want to ruin it for him and I owe it to him. I got us kicked out of so many homes."

Lena was about to object to that statement but Callie stopped her.

"I know you're going to say that it's not really my fault." She interrupted Lena's thought. "But in a way it kinda is, it may not be on purpose or in my control but it was mostly my fault. I was too old so no one wanted us but they couldn't split us up. What Liam did to me wasn't my fault but it was still done to me and that's the reason we moved from there. Even when I cause trouble here I put Jude in a position where I make him feel like she has to choose and I don't want to do that. I want to just be normal, even when it seems like I'm causing trouble just for the sake of it, I don't."

"We know that honey." Lena said. "We understand that eating disorders are real and not just in your head and we are trying to do everything we can to help you."

"You do." Callie confirmed. "You let me eat once everyone else is gone and that helps a lot and Stef always holds my hand when she's home which reminds me that I can do it. I just find it hard sometimes when all I have to focus on is me. I'm so used to doing everything to take care of Jude, even taking care of myself was so that I'd be strong enough to take care of him, but now, it's hard letting someone else take over.

Lena listened to Callie open up about her feelings and realized that Stef's suggestion of getting Callie involved with the children's home might be just what she needed. It would give Callie a chance to help someone else without giving up anything of herself. Though she wanted to discuss it with the girl she decided to do that with Stef so instead she grabbed Callie's hand across the table and smiled as the two of them took a bite.

Lena felt extremely relaxed as they finished lunch. Things were definitely looking better and her nausea was gone and the baby was now getting active. Suddenly she pulled Callie to her side of the table and placed her hand on her own stomach, low and to the side where the baby was kicking wildly.

At first Callie stiffened slightly at the awkwardness of touching Lena's stomach but when she actually felt the baby kick she smiled and looked up at Lena with big, excited eyes. "Is that..?"

"Your sister." Lena confirmed. "She can't wait to come out here and meet you."

"I can't wait to meet her either." Callie said, moving her hand slightly to feel the baby better, the smile never leaving her face and Lena's gaze never leaving it either.


	22. Chapter 22

"You should have seen her Stef." Lena said, excitement filling her voice. "She was so relaxed and happy. I worried for a while after she saw that onesie, but after the pedicure she really relaxed. We had lunch and then did a bit more shopping and then went down to the pier for a walk before we headed back home."

Stef couldn't help but smile, both at her daughter's day as well as her wife's enthusiasm. The two were getting ready for bed after making sure that all the kids were safe in their own rooms.

"And she genuinely seemed happy about the baby." Lena said, more with relief than anything else. "I think just the two of us spending the day together really helped her realize that nothing changes."

"I'm glad Lena." Stef said sincerely. "Maybe we can arrange for it again, with each of the kids. I don't want any of them to feel replaces, even subconsciously."

"I really don't think they do." Lena said honestly. "Mariana is so excited she keeps talking about names and outfits, Jude seems excited too and while the other boys aren't quite at that level of excitement, they still like to see the scans and put their two cents in with name options."

"I'm not saying that they aren't excited, honey." Stef clarified. "But we don't want any of them to feel like they are being sidetracked even more and regardless of the reason I'm sure all of them would love a mama day with you."

"You're right." Lena said. "I love that too and Mariana was so excited about the clothes we bought, she grumbled that we went without her."

"Well don't take all the kids clothes shopping please, otherwise this little girl is going to have enough clothes to last her a life time and she's going to need a house all to herself to keep them in." Stef teased as she planted a kiss on Lena's lips and let her hand slip under Lena's loose blouse to her stomach.

"I promise." Lena smiled as she kissed Stef back, enjoying these few moments of just being happy and worry-free. "But I think along with a mama day the kids would like a mom day too." She suggested.

"How about we do something together tomorrow?" Stef suggested. "I'm off and we can probably convince the kids to cancel their plans if we throw in some pizza and ice-cream." She said confidently.

"Sounds like a plan." Lena smiled. "What do you have in mind?" She asked.

"How about Belmont Park?" Stef suggested. "It's not far and there's something for everyone. The boys will love the rides and the girls and do some shopping and everyone will enjoy the food."

"We haven't been there in a while." Lena said, thinking how it was so close and yet they hadn't been there in years.

"Well Jude had mentioned that Disney was the first amusement park that he'd ever been to after my mom brought them home after the wedding so it'll be something new for him and probably Callie too, she missed out on Disney and the other kids always love it." Stef said.

"It's great." Lena said. "And it's off season so it shouldn't be too crowded."

"And you and I can stay on the ground and just enjoy watching the kids." Stef said, knowing that regardless of Lena's pregnancy, the rides weren't exactly top on her list.

"You love the rides." Lena said. "You join the kids, I'll stay with our stuff."

"But I love you more." Stef said, pulling Lena over to the bed and sitting them both down. "And I'd much rather spend the time with you."

Lena smiled as the two began kissing, gently at first and then a little more firmly until they both lay down, Lena first and Stef hovering on top.

* * *

"Jude, can we talk to you bud." Lena said as she and Stef filled bags of water and some simple snacks. They had woken Jude first so he could dress and they could talk to him privately while the others frantically got ready for their day out. Each one had readily agreed to cancel whatever plans they'd made to spend a day with their moms which surprised the mom's slightly. It wasn't often that a bunch of teenagers gave up their plans to hang out with their parents. It made them realize just how much this time was needed.

"What's going on?" Jude asked, without a hint of worry in his voice.

Both mom's smiled at how easily he'd learned to trust them and believe that he was safe no matter what.

"We wanted to talk to you about Callie." Lena said gently.

"What about Callie?" Jude asked, slight anger filling his face.

"Honey, we know you're angry with her and it's okay to be angry but it's not okay to blame her for anything." Stef said.

"But it's her fault." Jude said. "She ruins everything."

"Honey, she hasn't ruined anything." Lena said clearly.

"She always does and then we get kicked out." Jude said, getting agitated because they didn't seem to believe him.

"First of all you are two separate people." Stef stopped him. "You two are not tied together, and whatever she does or doesn't do isn't reflected on you. Besides, this isn't a trial period. This isn't time for us to decide whether or not we want both of you, we already do and nothings going to change that. You two are ours forever."

"Honey, Callie isn't eating because that's her way of reacting to something that's bothering her." Lena added. "We know that you said something to her which is why she's been eating lately and while it's good that she's eating, we don't want her to be afraid, what we're trying to do is solve the problem so that she actually wants to eat."

"But all she has to do is chew and swallow." Jude said, still not understanding exactly why Callie was behaving like this. "What's so hard about that?"

"It's not the actual eating that's the problem honey." Stef explained. "Callie feels like she's losing control of herself and her life and this is the one thing that she has complete control over, we can't force her to eat. It makes her feel like she still has some power."

"What do you mean?" Jude asked. "What control is she losing?"

"You know how you said that you're finally in a good home?" Stef questioned and waited until she received a nod from the boy. "Well for Callie it's a little different. She's been taking care of the two of you for so long now that she doesn't know how not to do that and as we are taking over she feels like she's losing control and she'll forget how to do it if something goes wrong and she's left alone again so she's trying to keep her distance from us, not really anger us."

"But she doesn't need to take care of us any more." Jude said, calmly again. He felt bad that she couldn't feel as safe as he did.

"We know that honey and so does she but it's going to take her some time to feel safe about it." Lena said. "And we want you to help her instead of being angry with her and threatening her or asking her to leave. Instead we want you to encourage her to talk to us and trust us just like you do."

"She needs you sweetheart." Stef said. "Just like you needed her all those years, she needs you now. You're the one that trusts and believes and she needs you to help show her how."

"I never thought of it like that." Jude admitted, understanding more now. "I guess I always had someone to depend on but she never did but now she has you."

"And she always will." Stef interjected. "No matter what she does she'll always have us."

"I know." Jude said, fully believing the words. "I'll be nice to her, I promise."

"Okay." Stef smiled at him. "Now go put these bags into the car for me please." She handed him the bags of water and snacks and watched him walk away.

As Jude did as his mothers had asked he thought about what they'd said. He did sort of understand Callie's behavior now though she still couldn't quite get why she didn't believe them. They had never let them down and he believed that they never would. All he knew was that he wouldn't say what he had planned to say to his sister - to please be normal and not ruin their day.


	23. Chapter 23

The family had a wonderful day at the amusement park. The kids rode every ride at least twice and the roller coaster more times than they could count, they stuffed themselves on junk food and cotton candy and sodas spent way too much at the game booths where they won absolutely nothing. But still the day had gone well for the entire family. The boys played silly games like bobbing for apples and doughnuts, a pie eating contest and a hotdog contest while the girls browsed the shops picking up little trinkets and other small items and the two moms just strolled along behind them, hand in hand, carefree and happy.

"I'm absolutely stuffed." Jesus said as they made their way back to the car. He had eaten two slices of pizza, three hotdogs, almost an entire pie and the apple that he had managed to get at the bobbing game plus all the candy he had picked up along the way.

"Really?" Mariana asked teasingly. "I wonder why."

"Hey, I almost won that pie eating contest." Jesus defended. He had come second, beaten only by a big guy in his twenties who looked like he ate pies for a living.

"Almost does't really count now does it?" Mariana shot back.

"What did you girls buy?" Lena asked, wanting to break up the argument before it became a full blown fight.

"I bought some bracelets and earrings." Mariana said, holding up her hands so everyone could see.

"They're pretty." Jude said, leaning in for a better look.

"What about you slug-a-bug?" Lena asked, stroking her hand through Callie's hair.

"Just this little box." Callie said, holding up a package wrapped in bubble in a paper bag. "It's hand carved and smells of sandalwood." She added, smiling at Lena, remembering their pedicure the day before.

"It's really pretty." Mariana agreed. "The guy in the store said his family has been carving wood for five generations and his son was there too and he was learning to carve as well."

"Yeah, I can't wait to see it." Lena said with a smile.

"What are you going to put into it?" Stef asked.

"I don't know yet." Callie answered. "I'll find something. I just really liked the carving and the smell."

"Sandalwood is one of my favorite smells." Stef said. "It always reminds me of mama." She looked lovingly over at her wife.

"I used to burn this sandalwood oil when I first met your mom." Lena explained. "I had seen it on one of my trips to Asia and just fell in love with the smell."

"And Gretchen bought it for her to try to win her back." Stef added with a grin.

"Wait, what?" All the kids asked in unison.

"She knew it was mama's favorite and bought her some when she returned from one of her trips and tried to win her back with it." Stef said.

"It didn't work." Lena pointed out.

"No, it didn't." Stef agreed. "Because she had already fallen madly in love with the most amazing woman in the world." She grinned.

"That I did." Lena agreed, grinning back.

"But you kept the oil?" Mariana asked, enjoying learning about her mom's past.

"I did." Lena laughed. "I wasn't about to return it just because Gretchen gave it to me."

"Cool" Callie said. "What else did you guys do when you were young?" She asked.

"Younger, young lady." Stef gave her a mock glare in the rear-view mirror. "Young implies that we are old now." She watched as her children smirked in the back seats. "I'll make all of you walk home if you're not careful." She said, though they were just a few houses away from their own.

Everyone was laughing and teasing Stef as she pulled up into the driveway.

"Thanks moms, that was a really great day." Jude said as he got out of the car, clutching the pictures of himself on the roller coaster he had been given.

"Yeah, thanks moms." The others pipped up.

"You're welcome." The mom's replied. "We loved it too."

* * *

"Hey love, how are you doing?" Stef asked Callie as she walked into the girl's room.

Callie was sitting on the bed unwrapping her box. Mariana was downstairs helping Lena with dinner so Stef decided to check in with Callie for a bit.

"I'm okay." Callie said as Stef sat down beside her.

"That is gorgeous." Stef said as she picked up the lid of the box to examine it. It had an intricate flower pattern carved into the wood with a fluted edge and twisted rim. "You must have paid quite a bit for it." She said, studying the box more closely.

"Sort of." Callie said.

"Well I'm glad you found something that you really like." Stef said, leaning over to give her a kiss.

Callie smiled as she tossed the bubble and carefully placed the box on her nightstand.

"I'm proud of you, you know." Stef said. "You are trying so hard and I know it's difficult for you but you're doing it anyways."

Callie shrugged, unsure of what to say. She didn't quite know how to explain that it wasn't as hard as she thought.

"You are so strong honey." Stef added. "When you put your mind to something, there's absolutely nothing that you can't do. Just remember that we're here too and when it gets too tough we'll help you."

"I know." Callie said. "I think I'm learning that."

"That's good." Stef said, laughing.

"It's not so hard as I thought it would be." Callie said.

"What were you expecting to be hard?" Stef asked.

"Giving in, letting go." Callie answered. "But then I think about how worried and angry all of you were and I knew there was something I could do about it. In a way, that was something I could control too." She said. "I could make you happy and I think I prefer that to making you angry all the time."

Stef just stared at her daughter, amazed at how she'd turned out so wonderfully even though she'd been through more in sixteen years than anyone should go through in a lifetime.

"I love you so much Callie." Stef said firmly as she pulled Callie close and held her tight. "You can't even imagine how much I love you."

"I love you too." Callie said, hugging Stef back.

"And whether you try to make me happy or absolutely drive me up the walls, that will never change." Stef told her, pulling away to look at her.

"I know." Callie smiled. "That's why I got you this." She pulled out a bumper sticker that read 'Caution: Over the Hill Driver."

"Ouch." Stef teased as she looked at her daughter, pretending to be hurt.

Callie grinned back. "Now you know why I asked what you did when you were young?" She asked.

"You are going to regret this young lady." Stef said, widening her eyes and pointing her finger pointedly at Callie. "You better watch out."

Callie laughed as she watched her mother walk out before pulling out the magnet she's picked for Lena.


	24. Chapter 24

"Sorry love, I won't make it home for dinner tonight." Stef said over the phone, early on Sunday evening. "We busted a whole gang of drug dealers today and now we have piles of paper work. I'll probably be here till about midnight."

"Okay honey." Lena said as she finished tossing a salad, with the phone trapped between her ear and shoulder. "I'll make a plate for you and leave it in the fridge in case you're hungry when you get back. All you need to do is stick it in the microwave."

"Thanks Love." Stef said.

"Be careful Stef, I love you." Lena told her wife.

"I will honey, we're just at the station doing paperwork anyways. I love you too." Stef replied.

"So, mom's going to be really late tonight." Lena said as she hung up the phone and looked at the three kids sitting around her kitchen table.

"What happened?" Brandon asked, looking up from the potato he was cutting.

"Piles of paperwork." Lena answered, repeating Stef's words. "They're all stuck there most of the night."

"Will she get tomorrow off then?" Mariana asked, also busy peeling the potatoes that Brandon was chopping.

"Probably." Lena answered. "I depends on how late they stay in."

"I don't like it when she works at night." Jude said. "Bad things usually happen at night."

"I don't like it either bud." Lena kissed his head. "But tonight she's just at the station doing paperwork so it'll okay. She'll be home when you wake up tomorrow morning."

"I know, but things still happen." Jude said, looking down at the table. "Our mom went out one night and never came home."

"Honey, Stef's fine." Lena said, taking a seat next to the boy. "I know that I can't promise you that nothing will ever happen, something already did when she got shot, but she is taking care of herself and she just everything she can to make sure she's safe. Just like you do, you look both ways before crossing the street and you don't do things that could be dangerous. There's only so much we can do honey."

Lena looked at her son. She could see that he was still worried and she couldn't really blame him - his mother had just gone out one evening and never came home. Granted, Stef would never get into a car with a drunk driver and she had all the training and protection possible but still, her job was dangerous and Lena herself worried about her all the time, so how could she tell a young boy that everything would be fine.

"How about we have dinner and then call mom before bed?" Lena suggested. "I'll bet she'd love to hear from you."

"Yeah." Jude smiled. "Let's eat."

Lena laughed and kissed his head before turning back to her fried chicken.

* * *

"Only six plates?" Callie asked later that evening. She had come home from her therapy appointment and the family was sitting down to dinner. Callie quickly washed her hands at the sink and sat down, noticing instantly that Stef was the one missing.

"Yup, mom's working late." Lena explained.

"When will she come home?" Callie asked.

"She said around midnight but they have a lot of work so she's not really sure." Lena said. "We're going to leave a plate for her in the fridge in case she's hungry when she gets back."

"Why did she have to work late?" Callie asked.

"Drug bust." Jesus answered. "We're lucky Mariana wasn't one of them." He teased his twin, knowing he'd get a rise out of her. Ever since the moms found out the truth Jesus had tortured his sister and even now, six months later, he found it funny.

"Jesus." Lena warned before Mariana could retaliate.

"Sorry." Jesus said, though the small grin never left his face.

Lena was too busy keeping the twins from fighting that she didn't notice the sullen look on Callie's face or the way she just moved her food around on her plate without actually eating any of it.

"Jesus, we've told you more than once that that's over now. We've all forgiven everyone for that mistake, you were partly at fault too so please be nice to your sister." Lena said.

"I'm sorry." Jesus said, seriously this time. "I was just teasing her. I know she'll never do that again."

"Good." Lena said looking at both of them. "Now don't bring it up again."

Jude looked sadly at Lena and the twins. That had been a hard time for all of them and even though he and Callie hadn't been living there long he still felt sad and afraid when Stef was shot. Part of him was worried that they'd get sent away if something happened to him, but another part was just sad that something bad had happened to that family. They were so special and he just couldn't bear to see them hurt. Callie had been right though, they were lucky, unlike them, and Stef had pulled though just fine and everything became perfect.

When Jude finally got adopted he used to wonder whether that luck would rub off on him as well now or whether his misfortune would seep into their lives. So far it had been the former but every so often, something would happen that made him worry that the latter was true. Luckily for him, they seemed to be stronger than whatever bad things came their way. But looking around the table again he noticed the empty seat that was usually filled with Stef's teasing and chatter and once again he thought of the mom he had lost - the one that had gone out for dinner and never come home. He hoped that nothing like that would ever happen to his new moms - that their luck would never run out.

* * *

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Jude said, coming into Callie's room later that night. Mariana was with Lena and Brandon and Jesus were both in their rooms. "I was mad but I never meant to say that you should leave."

"I know." Callie said, smiling at him. He had been the sole reason for her survival and she couldn't even imagine her life without him. "It's okay. I deserved it."

"No, you didn't." Jude said. "You deserve a lot and I'm sorry it's been so hard for you."

Callie wasn't sure what to say so instead she pulled Jude down onto her bed and hugged him.

"You can trust them, you know." Jude said. "They won't hurt you."

"I know." Callie answered.

"Then why are you so afraid to?" Jude asked. "Why do you need control?"

"I'm not sure." Callie answered honestly. "I guess I still feel like this is just too good to be true sometimes."

"I feel that too." Jude admitted. "Even tonight, I kept thinking about how mom said she'd be home late but never came back and now Stef called to say she'd be late."

"She'll be back." Callie told her brother though she herself had been worried all through dinner that Stef had disappeared again like that night. She knew she hadn't done anything so it wasn't her fault but still that guilt of sending her away the first time was still too raw.

"You remember the time you called them lucky?" Jude asked and Callie nodded. "Well, do you think now that we're part of their family that luck rubbed off on us or our bad luck will rub off on them?"

Callie thought about that. She thought back to the night her mother had died and remembered fighting with her because she was going out without taking Callie along. Her mother never came home. Again Callie had a fight with her mom and she left but this time she did come home. "I think they luck will rub off on us." She answered.

"You promise?" Jude asked, thinking that the one thing his sister had always done right was keep promises.

Callie nodded silently, hoping that nothing bad would happen and that their mom would come home to them.

It was past ten and the whole house was quiet. Callie could hear Mariana's soft, even breathing so she knew that she was already asleep. She got up to get herself a glass of water from the kitchen and as she passed she noticed that the lights were off in everyone's rooms. As she made her way downstairs she remembered coming down those very stairs, less than a week ago to find that her mom never came home. Before she knew what she was doing Callie was stuffing her feet into her shoes and silently slipping out of the house and disappearing down the street.


	25. Chapter 25

Callie made it to the station in record time. She didn't think she'd ever run so far in her life but she just had to know for certain that Stef actually was just as work like Lena had told them. She tiptoed her way up the stairs and through the doors. The station was full of activity so no one really noticed her but she kept her head down and moved fast just to be on the safe side. All she wanted was to get a glimpse of Stef and then get back home before anyone even knew she'd left.

She walked down a few hallways, peeking into rooms, looking for one of the very few women in uniform but didn't find her mother anywhere. Callie spotted a bench with a water cooler by it and decided a two minute break would be a good thing. She grabbed a paper cup and filled it to the brim before sitting down and drinking every drop. She gave herself two minutes to catch her breath and then she'd go looking for Stef again.

* * *

"Did you bring your daughter in?" Morris asked his partner.

"No." Stef said, looking up at him from her paperwork. "Why?"

"I thought I saw her downstairs by the cooler." Morris answered with a shrug.

"Not her." Stef said, though her gut told her that it wasn't as simple as that. "Which one?" She asked.

"Her." Morris said, pointing to the girl in the purply-grey dress on the far right of their family wedding picture.

"Callie?" Stef asked though she already knew that there was a good chance it was actually her.

"Looked like her." Morris said.

Stef instantly headed down to the water cooler but just found two officers sitting there. "Either of you seen a teenage girl wandering around?" She asked them.

Both officers shook their heads so Stef took a quick look around and when she didn't find Callie she headed back down the hallway she'd come and sure enough she found her daughter peeking into one of the rooms.

"So it is you." Stef said, quietly walking up behind the girl.

At the sound of Stef's voice Callie jumped and turned to look at her mother guiltily but soon the guilt was masked by a hint of relief.

"What are you doing here young lady?" She asked sternly.

"I..." Callie began but had no clue what to say. Somehow 'I just wanted to make sure you really were here' didn't seem like quite the right thing. "I..." She tried again but then just gave up.

Stef watched her daughter and her face softened. She knew why Callie was here and she had no one but herself to blame.

"Making sure I never went anywhere?" Stef asked gently, though she already knew the answer. "That's my fault I guess."

Callie looked back, shocked. She'd expected Stef to be mad at her for sneaking out, walking all this way in the dark alone and just generally breaking the rules but instead she was blaming herself.

"Don't think you're not in trouble." Stef said, as though reading her daughter's mind. "You know it's dangerous to go somewhere without telling us first, especially alone at night like this."

"I'm sorry." Callie said. "I just..." But once again she stopped. In any case, Stef already knew the truth so there was no real need for her to voice it now.

"You never thought to call?" Stef asked, knowing what Callie wasn't saying.

"I just wanted to see for myself." Callie finally admitted, looking down at her shoes.

Stef lead Callie back towards an empty room and sat the girl in the chair. "Honey, I'm not going anywhere." Stef said. "I made a mistake and I'm sorry but it will never happen again. Even that day I had absolutely no intention of ever leaving you."

"I know." Callie said. "But sometimes even when you don't mean it bad things happen."

"Sweetheart, you can't keep living your life waiting for the other shoe to drop." Stef said. "At some point you just have to start living and let life go on. Something bad may happen one day, I don't deny that. But by waiting for that one day, you're missing out on all the good things that are happening right now."

Callie looked up at her mother thinking about what she'd said. She was right, Callie now had everything she'd ever wanted - a family, a home, people who loved her, she was fed and warm and never hurt. Why was she looking for trouble, like Jude had said? Why was she trying to make things go bad? Callie finally realized her answer - she was doing it unconsciously so that she could be prepared for when it happened, but chances were that it wasn't going to happen and Callie was missing out on enjoying her life.

"I'm sorry." Callie said. "I'm sorry." She said again. Tears fell from her eyes as she finally felt a huge weight being lifted off herself.

"Don't be sorry love." Stef said gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I didn't really believe you." Callie admitted. "I always thought you'd let me down somehow."

"We won't honey, not on purpose ever." Stef promised. "This is it forever baby. You'll always be ours, you don't have to keep testing it."

"I'll try." Callie promised back. "I'll try to remember that."

"Good girl." Stef kissed her head. "Now let my call mama before she finds you gone and worries."

* * *

"Honey, don't worry, she's fine, but Callie's here with me at the station." Stef said into the phone to a groggy Lena who had just been woken by the sound of her phone.

"What?" Lena asked, sitting up, completely alert now. "What do you mean she's with you?" She asked.

"She came down to the station to find me, worried that I'd taken off." Stef admitted guiltily. She still blamed herself for that.

"Oh my god." Lena said as she padded quickly to the girl's too and sure enough she found one bed empty. "She walked there all alone?"

"She's fine honey." Stef promised. "I already gave her that lecture but we'll give it to her again tomorrow." Stef said, looking at Callie who looked miserable at the thought.

"Okay. Just bring her home soon please." Lena said, knowing that she wouldn't sleep again until her daughter was safely back in her bed.

"I'll leave as soon as I can." Stef promised. "I should be home by eleven."

"Okay." Lena said before hanging up, both angry at Callie but relieved at the same time that she was safe.

* * *

"What's this?" Callie asked when Stef hung up the phone, holding up a couple of brochures of various organizations.

"That's actually something mama and I want to talk to you about." Stef explained. "They are organizations for social services that are always looking for volunteers."

Callie fanned the three brochures and Stef pointed to each one. "This one is a home for children with handicaps." She explained before pointing to the second. "And this one has a grandparent program." She then took the third on and opened it up. "This is the one I think will suit you the best." She began. "These kids have no families or have come from abusive homes just like you. We thought that maybe you'd like to volunteer there and help some other child that could use a friend or a big sister."

"They look sad." Callie said, looking down at the pictures of young faces.

"They haven't found their forever family yet." Stef said. "They could use a friend."

"I think I'd like that." Callie said.

"Well I was going to bring them home today and you, mama and I can talk about it." Stef said. "It might be good for you to have something important to focus on. This way you will still feel in control without having to put yourself in danger."

"I never thought about it like that." Callie said. "When I protected Jude, I didn't think about myself. All I could think about was his safety."

"That's why I thought when I went to get Jesus from Ana's house." Stef admitted. "It's what I think for each one of you."

"I wonder if these kids have someone who thinks about them first." Callie said, looking back at the brochure.

"They'll have you." Stef smiled encouragingly, receiving one in return.

* * *

Stef went back to work while Callie browsed the brochures for a few more minutes before looking up at the station. All the officers were moving about, knowing exactly what needed to be done and amongst them was her mother. Callie watched her move with confidence as she took and gave orders and handed papers to various other people. One of only three women in the room, Stef looked completely at ease and sure of herself surrounded my all the men. She was definitely someone Callie hoped to be like one day - just like Sharon had promised.

Callie was brought out of the thoughts by Captain Roberts calling out to her mom. "You brought your kid in just so you could leave quicker." She said to Stef who just laughed.

"Damn, you caught me captain." Stef teased back. "I should have known I can't get anything past you."

"Get out of here Foster." Captain Roberts said. "Get that kid to bed."

"Good night." Stef called and Callie mimicked her.

"Let's get home baby." Stef said as she packed up her bag and headed out.

* * *

"You are grounded until you're thirty." Lena said when Stef let them both into the house. Lena had been waiting for them in the living room and heaved a sigh of relieve when she heard the front door open. "What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry." Callie said shamefully. "I only meant to find Stef and then come right back."

"And if something happened to you on the way?" Lena asked angrily.

But Callie didn't answer. She hadn't thought about how they would feel if something happened to her, all she worried about was if something happened to them.

"I'm sorry." Callie said again. "I'll never do it again."

"You're damn right you won't." Lena said, her anger evident in the word she used. Though she did reach out for her daughter and hug her.

"I brought these for you." Stef said, handing Lena the brochures, giving her a chance to cool down. "Callie said she was interested."

"Yeah?" Lena asked, looking up at her.

"I'd like to try." Callie admitted. "Maybe I can help someone."

"I have no doubt that you can sweetheart." Lena said encouragingly, proud of her daughter. "I love you so much. I may have gotten mad at you but only because I love you so much."

"I know, I love you too." Callie said before jumping off the couch. "I almost forgot, I never got to give you your present." She said as she darted up the stairs quietly to retrieve Lena's magnet.

"What present?" Lena asked surprised.

"Don't get your hopes up." Stef teased. "I got a bumper sticker that said I was old." She explained.

"It's sort of for both of you but Lena more." Callie said, coming down the stairs with a small brown paper bag.

Lena took the bag she was given and carefully pulled out a magnet that read _You can't buy love, but you can rescue it. _Lena's eyes filled with tears as she saw it.

"It's actually for pets but it kinda works for us too." Callie said.

Lena looked back at it and noticed that over each paw print Callie had stuck the faces of all five of her children.

"I love it." Lena said as she hugged Callie tight. "It's beautiful."

Callie smiled as Stef sandwiched her between them. "We love you." Stef said.

"I love you guys too." Callie said back. "I'm so lucky to have you. Thank you for everything."

"Honey, you have given us just as much as we have given you." Lena said.

"Our life wouldn't be complete without you in it." Stef added. "Remember that. You're not the only one on the receiving end here."

"I had nothing." Callie said. "But you guys gave me my life, you gave me the world."

Callie stayed between her moms for a long time as the three held each other tight, so thankful for the second chance she was given and determined to make the best of it instead of always waiting for something bad to happen - chances are it wasn't going to happen, and even if it did, Callie knew that with her family, she could get through anything.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So once again this series did continue. Hope you enjoyed it. I'm not sure if it will go on but if I get any further requests that fit into this series I will add to it. I honestly thought I'd get a lot of flak for this story but really I only got good reviews and I just have to thank all you amazing people out there who encourage me to keep writing. You're awesome.

Please, please, please don't hate Stef for what she did (or me for that matter) - she's human, not perfect and she'd just reached her limit. Plus this is just a story... entertainment, and some drama. I always loved Stef's character most because I felt like she struggled a lot to become who she is - someone she's happy to be (like I said in the story) and I really admire her for that but at the same time I think that no one's perfect, everyone makes mistakes and everyone disappoints the ones they love at some time or another. Everyone reaches a point where they just need to take a step back and catch their breath before they make things worse and for Stef, this was it.

I'm not a cop so I'm not sure of procedures, this was just for entertainment purposes so any errors are accidental thought I tried to keep it as realistic as I could. Also I've never been to the West Coast so distances, times and milage may not be correct but I googled what I could and tried to keep it as accurate as possible. This includes the fact that I later realized that Vasquez was sent to Sacramento - too far for him to just drive down to help out but anyways... let's pretend he hadn't moved so far :)

As for Lena's pregnancy - I purposely left out the details because I didn't want all the stress to cause her to lose the baby. Like I said in **Pushed to the End** I don't want Callie to be directly or indirectly responsible for what happens to the baby and so if at all it does happen it will be after this story, where Callie is not involved.

I didn't write about Callie's time with the children's home because I plan to make that a story of it's own that won't involve her eating problems and self harm. It will just be a short story of Callie coming to terms with what her life used to be versus what it is now.

A big thank you to Lacorra for her help and suggestions.

If any of you have any ideas for me please let me know, I'm kinda having writers block but don't want to stop writing. Thanks.

Once again that's a ton for reading and for the great reviews (especially all of you who tried to make up for the hate reviews)... I took your advice and started moderating my reviews, I didn't really want to but this one person (I'd rather call her something worse) is ruining it for everyone.

You guys are awesome and I get so excited whenever you update your stories. Keep writing.

Love Junebug.


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